Prop up the bar and eye up the hotties at Hawksmoor

Holiday season is upon us chicas and it’s time we gave our holidays a bit more thought. Too worldly and too beautiful to be hauling ourselves off on a package holiday, we should be exploring the weird and wonderful experiences on offer right here in Europe.

I am going to take you on a whirlwind tour of some of my favourite drinking spots. And no, for the record, this isn’t about blindly stammering across the continent in a binge drinking-induced stupor, it’s about finding those places where the drinking and the drink are just a part of the story. It’s about finding hidden hangouts, getting to know the locals and getting the inside story on the latest stop of your continental pub crawl.  I call it intellectual boozing – you can still get pissed darling, but it’s sooo much more classy.

OK, so where are we going first?

Well, let’s get started early. Nightlife kicks off during the daytime in London so we’ve plenty of options for a swift drink before the sun goes down.

And what will we be drinking there?

Now this is slightly controversial. We are drinking a punch. I know, I know, punches are totally 17^th Century East Indies and pre-prohibition USA, but London’s cocktail scene has been going from strength to strength. The recent revival of old-school drinks has ignited something of a cocktail following in town and it would be rude not to give them a mention.

Ooh, sounds interesting, tell me more…

OK. Well, we’re going to Hawksmoor, a fabulous steak and cocktail place in a gritty corner of London’s louche East End. The guys and gal (yes, only one) behind the bar are all fantastic – every drink is perfect (and I have tried a lot) and the manager is pretty damn handsome too (not to mention those hotties on the door)! We don’t have time to look through the huge cocktail list designed chiefly by cocktail king Nick Strangeway (although I’d recommend you do so when you have more time) so we’ll just get the bartenders to think up a fab punch to get us going. My fave is the Non-Such punch made up of pineapple puree, red wine, green tea, cognac, lemon juice, spiced sugar and soda. Punches come served in huge glass bowls with little glass teacups – makes me come over all AIW (Alice in Wonderland – keep up).

And where will we sleep?

Sleep? We’ve only just begun. But if you really must, the Hoxton Hotel is just around the corner and I could be persuaded to have a nap. We need to get going early though – We’re booked on the first train to Paris!

Where next?

Are you even listening to me?

Oh yeah, you mentioned Paris. How do we get there?

Bloody hell – on the train.

Good times back in the old times

And what will we be drinking there?

OK, that’s a better question. We’re going to drink absinthe.

Absinthe, are you kidding?

Absolutely not. Absinthe may not be so coommonly associated with the country today but it was popular throughout France until it was banned in 1914 – it was said to be a dangerously addictive and psychoactive drug (largely because of the chemical ‘thujone’ which it contained in very small quantities). But since its re-release in 2000, there are now around 50 different absinthes produced in France. Pernod Ricard are really pushing it into hip-crowd drinking circles.

Weird or Wonderful?

Wonderful darling – although not many bars in Paris have caught on yet. We are heading to The Hôtel Royal Fromentin (it’s totally old Paree) they serves absinthe at their historic bar, a former cabaret at the foot of Montmartre.

The French preparation is as follows: a sugar cube is placed on top of a specially designed slotted spoon and then the spoon is placed on the glass which has been filled with a shot of absinthe. Ice-cold water is then poured or dripped over the sugar cube so that the water is slowly and evenly displaced into the absinthe, typically 1 part absinthe and 3 to 5 parts water. Et voila. Yes, stop fussing, it’s supposed to be cloudy.

All this information has me mentally exhausted. Where shall we sleep?

We’re not sleeping, it’s only 3pm – Absinthe is an afternoon drink. We’re getting back on the train; this time to Bruges.

And what will we be drinking there?

A few beers

That sounds a bit dull…

Au contraire ma belle – Beer in Bruges, as in the rest of Belgium, is something of an art form. The good thing about Bruges is that it so beautiful. You see, two for the price of one!

It’s said that there are more than 400 beers in Bruges. You can try them at the breweries, along with a hoard of tourists, but it’s better to head for a quiet café canal-side. We’ll just take a stroll up Hoogstraat and look for the coolest crowd and a lovely beer garden.  Apparently the perfect time to head out is 11pm – so we should be just on time.

I have got to have the Bruges Tarwebier, a pale wheat beer drunk with a slice of lemon. Not too hoppy and that lemon is working wonders for my Paris hangover. Yippee, I’m back in the game.

Well all this beer is making me drowsy. What are we going to do about accommodation?

I’m glad you asked – this is the best bit! We’re staying at Côte Canal, a gorgeous B&B alongside, well, the canal! It is so beautiful here and the staff are so lovely, I don’t really want to leave. Let’s stay for just one more day and then we can whizz off to Italia.

Blurred vision and a table full of Bellinis...

Italy, sounds good! How do we get there?

Well, we do have to go back to Brussels for our flight but Ryanair go direct to Venice – perfecto!

And what will we be drinking there?

Er, Bellinis of course

Ooh, sounds interesting. Tell me more.

Well, we couldn’t do the tour without a quick stop at Harry’s Bar, the birthplace of the Bellini. I know it’s a little bit on the cheesy side but I need a Bellini after that landing and I imagine you do too.

The barman Marco is simply lovely despite the fact that we are in one of the most touristy bits of one of the most touristy cities on the planet! Apparently, the Bellini was created in the 1930s by Giuseppe Cipriani (the bar’s original founder) and the bar is now arguably the most famous in Venice. Although it’s made with Prosecco instead of Champagne, the Bellini is widely regarded as one the best Champagne cocktails of all time!

Marco tells us how to make the perfect Bellini: Firstly, the glasses, the white peach purée and the Prosecco should all be as cold as possible. The general rule is to use one part purée to three parts Prosecco. We were warned that making the purée in a blender would be a bad move – probably best to buy some of that lovely Funkin Peach then! This is definitely one I can do at home.

I’m not sure I can handle much more of this – where are we ending this heavenly tour?

Oh, well I did want to take you exploring the Douro Valley in Portugal and sampling some of the finest Porto on the planet, but if we really must limit our trip to one more stop, then it has to be Seville, my favourite city.

How do we get there?

Dead easy, Veuling have flights direct between Venice and Seville every day.

And what will we be drinking there?

Sherry of course! We could have booked a trip down to Jerez from Seville as it’s less than two hours away, but I’ve had enough of the tourist trail; let’s lap up the Sevillian atmosphere instead. Seville, or rather, Sevilla, is the ultimate in Spanish Spain. Flamenco and gorgeous locals aplenty, we could sit for hours and just watch the world go by, except we won’t be allowed to once the dancing starts!

Tuck into tapas and sherry in Seville

Ooh, sounds interesting, tell me more…

Sherry is a fortified white wine which spans from very dry (in the form of ‘fino’ and ‘manzanilla’) right through to some of the sweetest (a “PX” or Pedro Ximenez.) It’s probably best to think of sherry in the same way that we think about wine – different regions produce differing types. They vary massively in quality as well. Fino sherry goes impeccably well with big savoury food flavours, so things like Jamon Iberico will go down perfectly. Don’t just go to one spot in Sevilla, move around and sample a range of tapas bars, eating and drinking as you go. The best spots are the edges of the barrio Santa Cruz, on Calle Mateos Gago and the enormous Plaza del Salvador.

Spanish nightlife goes on quite late though, what are we going to do later?

Well, we could just stay up and partake in el botellon – the local youth custom of drinking on the street. It sounds so much better than ‘binge drinking’, doesn’t it? But failing that, I’ve rustled us up something fabulous. Hospes Las Casas del Rey de Baeza is simply perfect. It doesn’t come cheap but then nothing this wonderful ever did!