Not even a particularly impressive glimmer of sunshine in the sky will prompt the display of male nipples on British high streets, and not a second thought is given to the different shapes, sizes, and colours of the male nipples we see on European beaches. However, female nipples have become caught in something of a Catch 22 situation; show the nipples and criticism surges, whilst not showing the nipples means that they become something that is forbidden, to be lusted afterand therefore taboo. As a result, new mums have to take into account the sensibilities of the general public and either feed their child with his or her face hidden (something of a Michael Jackson tribute), use a bottle, or retreat to a mother/baby toilet as though their nipples,(which to state an obvious point, everyone has) are an abnormality.

In addition, the ‘to nipple, or not to nipple’ conundrum continues to haunt the fashion industry and for women conscious of their nipples being on show the shops are full of clever ways to keep them tucked away. Padded bras, nipple stickers and ‘fashion tape’ all act to cover, squeeze, press and contain the unpredictability of the female nipple. It doesn’t take much protrusion to be met with sarcastic comments such as “cold, are we?” or “smuggling peanuts?” and so for most women their nipples are relegated to the depths of their clothes.

However, as with most things in life it seems that female nipples are not immune to the age old ‘you want what you can’t have’ dilemma and many women with inverted nipples undergo surgery to make them stick out. Moreover, in Japan you can even buy plastic stick on nipples to create the effect of erect nipples through your clothes.

In conjunction with this ‘fake it’ fad it seems tinsel town is staging a united nipple front and urging women to flaunt their natural and unruly nipples in an unashamed manner. Recent red carpet events have been awash with celebrities showcasing erect nipples as the latest fashion accessory, encouraging a more forgiving, and less expensive, approach to female underwear.

Nevertheless, when sex symbol of the moment Megan Fox flashes her nipples in an unavoidably sultry manner, we do come full circle and find the source of the problem – men’s experience of nipples is through the somewhat virtual world of the porn industry. As a result, seeing nipples in the flesh, whether it be through breast feeding or otherwise, makes them think of sex. Unsurprisingly, a man who suddenly finds himself thinking about sex because he can see his co-workers nipples leads to some minor embarrassment, and unfortunately for women, some discomfort combating lewd jokes.

Yet, would society be a happier place if a woman showing their nipples regularly were the common thing? Traditionally, women’s breasts were adorned with many jewels and piercings as a sign of wealth within a tribe, without any notice being taken of the nipples, let alone any embarrassment. However, there is already enough pressure on women to look good, and every inch of skin that is on show is regularly exfoliated, shaved, moisturised, painted, pierced and fragranced. The women of today hardly need another area of their body to worry about and compare to the, sometimes literally, million dollar look of the models and celebrities. Females are just coming to terms with the fact that they are never going to look like Cheryl Cole no matter how many products they buy, does society have to add to this the fear of not having the right nipples? Cosmetic surgeons must be rubbing their hands together as they prepare to create a catalogue offering the “Angelina nipple” but for the average woman this is simply going to lead to more fears of inadequacy.

Arguably, women won’t have to worry about this on a daily basis. A day at the office, or the daily school run, probably won’t be the first time a woman decides to trial a nipple extravaganza. However, as the holiday season approaches, the nipple dilemma does come directly under the spotlight as women face the prospect of the beach and whether or not to bare all. In this situation what becomes altogether strange is that inhibitions go out of the window and women will bare their nipples because they are surrounded by strangers. If you take a minute to think that through, is that not somewhat weird? Women will happily show their nipples in front of people they don’t know, in a public place, but will practically weld down their nipples before hitting the bars on a Friday night with people they do know. If a woman flashed her nipples on the tube it seems unlikely that the police would consider the fact that she didn’t know the other passengers or the unusually hot weather of that day to be a valid excuse for such behaviour. In a similar vain, it seems pretty unlikely that husbands will be encouraging their wife to walk around Tesco topless simply because they don’t know anyone there.

Thus, as odd as it is that women hide their nipples when everyone has them, maybe they are best left under cover. After all, no one enjoys burnt nipples!

Boots’ No.7 range is promoting their men’s make-up range under the slogan: “Why should women get all the great products?” which begs the question, which products do men seem to think they are missing out on? It could be the sudden surge of scientific jargon being thrown into women’s beauty advertising that’s attracting men. From boswelox to pentapeptides, products are awash with claims to have scientifically proven benefits, and it seems that the move from appealing words like ‘natural’ and ‘gentle’ to ‘retinoids’ and ‘stem cells’ has captured what was previously perceived as an unattainable market.

Whilst men may think that they are adverse to the idea of dabbing on some concealer to hide those late night antics, the ‘cosmentics’ giants have already broken a few social barriers virtually unnoticed. Adverts for both Nivea and L’Oreal for men already sit happily unquestioned in an advert break for Top Gear, and whilst women may be buying the products for their men, moisturising has become less taboo, and a pot of cream will now grace most men’s shelves in an open and unashamed manner.

In terms of actual make-up products, overt use isn’t yet the norm, and brands will have to be clever to encourage men to swap their trusty all round beauty tool that is the cotton bud, for a foundation brush. Whilst celebrities like Russell Brand and Johnny Depp showcase the smouldering benefits of a sweep of eyeliner, the general perception seems to be that their celebrity status excludes them from the negative attention such a look would create at the local public house on a Friday night.

However, as much as they protest otherwise, a man’s boyhood charm may not just be down to some regular butch gym sessions. Concealers disguised as pens, and bronzers offering a ‘sports and sun tone enhancer’ suggests that the experimental man will buy make-up if it can camouflage itself in between their stationery and other gadgets. Moreover, statistics show that men seem happy to invest in make-up if they can do it discreetly online rather than in the full glare of the local shopping centre. However, if men will buy into the idea that a pot of bronzer is manly just because it has the word sport on it, then it won’t be long before men are as brainwashed as women by the beauty industry. In fact, as with women, men probably only read the bits they want to; women see the words ‘anti-ageing’ and in the basket it goes with dreams of twenty year old good looks. Men, it seems, will read the words ‘sport’ and ‘enhancer’, miss out the bit in the middle, and think they are going to become the next Ronaldo.

Yet, as performance enhancing as male make-up portends to be, with extra promises of a sexy and luxurious feel, for most modern men the idea of a beauty regime is about as masculine as turning up to work in a pair of heels. Nevertheless, whilst it seems outrageous now, men wearing make-up is actually a backwards step in terms of social acceptability. In fact, make-up for men is arguably primitive, as grooming is traditionally used by animals to improve appearance and attract a mate. Therefore, much like a baboon’s red bottom demonstrates sexual maturity and availability, a dab of ‘cosmentics’ here and there might just heighten a man’s chance of finding a mate, whether it be just for the night or life!

Moreover, perhaps men don’t actually have anything to feel embarrassed about in terms of taking some time over their appearance. In Roman times there was nothing girly about their grooming sessions and the men of today should reconsider that a hint of blusher (or should that be ‘blushim’?!) on the cheeks to brighten their appearance is hardly difficult or painful. For the men of Rome, grooming sessions, intended to cleanse both mind and body, included mud baths laced with crocodile excrement, and the use of a pumice stone to clean their teeth! As time went on, male grooming came to be what would today be considered as feminine, for example, kohl eyeliner used by Egyptian males is reminiscent of Amy Winehouse’s signature look, although whether or not that is a good argument for something being feminine is perhaps debatable. Traditionally Egyptian males’ use of kohl around the eyes acted as a mark of dominance in society and had the added bonus of protecting them from the evil eye – perhaps Amy Winehouse is just using it wrong. Nevertheless, there was nothing girly about the building of the pyramids, and laughing at a Roman soldier’s red nail polish would probably not be advisable.

Thus, whilst sceptics mount against the chance of men popping some ‘manscara’ on before a day on the building site, it’s key to remember that it wasn’t that long ago that the same was thought of pink t-shirts and male hair straighteners. So, whilst men may smirk and laugh now, in a few years time they may need to be careful that all that face pulling doesn’t crack their foundation.