Terrorists with a difference in Four Lions

Paris’s truly unique Etrange Festival is back for its 16^th edition this Friday (Etrange meaning ‘strange’), with what looks to be one of its most weird and wonderful programmes to date. As a reminder, Running in Heels was there last year to catch a highly eclectic and entertaining collection of short films, and we’re tempted by at least half a dozen screenings from this year’s selection…

Opening night kicks off with the highly anticipated Four Lions from Chris Morris, taking a delicately satiric look at suicide bombing. Perhaps a too-thoroughly British tale for most European audiences, this film does not yet have any distribution secured outside the UK, which is exactly why it’s fantastic that we can take a peek in Paris thanks to the Etrange team.

Other highlights include Julien Temple’s Oil City Confidential about punk in 1970s UK, which completes his rock trilogy and elsewhere in rock docs is Lemmy, an intimate portrait of the Motorhead founder. I will be looking forward to catching The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle – the debut feature from the exceptionally talented David Russo, who brought us the wonderful stop motion masterpiece I am not Van Gogh. The Runaways – otherwise known as the Joan Jett biopic featuring Kristen Stewart also makes an appearance. We previewed Quentin Dupieux’s film Rubber about the adventures of a rampant spare tyre and Im Sang-Soo’s tale The Housemaid in our Countdown to Cannes – and these two crop up again here.

There is a Vampire Night without a Cullen sibling in sight – instead presenting three brand new films which all get their French premieres – Suck, Prowl and Vampires, from Canada, the USA and Belgium respectively. Rob Stefanuk’s Suck looks particularly interesting; a comedy centred on a rock ‘n’ roll band that will do anything to become famous which boasts a stellar cast including Malcolm McDowell, Iggy Pop and Alice Cooper. There is also a surprise film, but I still don’t think you’ll see any Pattinson action.

Alejandro Jorodowsky gets carte blanche and chooses an interesting selection including Miss Mona – a little-known French drama from 1987 which Jorodowsky describes it as a ‘true gem’. Dealing with themes including sex changes, immigration and rape, Jorodowky alludes to the film’s ‘tenderness’ in its treatment of these issues. He also includes Valhalla Rising by Nicolas Winding Refn in his selectio, although Refn actually gets Carte Blanche at the festival too. His own selection includes Carl Dreyer’s 1932 film Not Against the Flesh (aka Vampyr) which Refn says for him is “the closest thing I’ve seen to cinematographic perfection […] for both its beautiful representation of what we can see, and of what we cannot.”

There are also two interesting homages – to the actors Mimsy Farmer and Jean-Pierre Kalfon – which give an excellent panorama of their careers. The short film programmes look intriguing – featuring new work by rising Belgian experimental director Nicolas Provost (Long live the New Flesh) and a new piece from the Quay Brothers (Maska). There is also a night of ‘Etrange musique’ featuring bands Kni Crik, The Pop Group and Alec Empire.

The trailer for The Immaculate Conception of Little Dizzle, debut feature film from David Russo

For more information, see L’Etrange Festival website.

So this is the context to this month’s theme – water. As I’ve been dreaming of plunging into a cool, fresh expanse of water from any nearby open window, this month I give you films that mostly involve swimming, or being in water, or anything but boiling to death on dry land.

Ester – Pernilla Johansson

Sometimes the thought of visiting one’s local swimming pool can inspire many a negative emotion – the prospect of screaming, splashing kids, slow-swimmers in the fast lane, the obligation to wear the dreaded swimming cap. However I defy you not to be inspired to grab your cozzie after watching this lovely Swedish short about Ester’s weekly visit to the pool and all the pleasure she manages to derive from it.

Friday’s Child – Dougal Wilson

Dougal Wilson is the rising director of the moment, churning out a steady stream of gems for Bat for Lashes, Goldfrapp, Temper Trap, Dizzee Rascal and the like. This earlier video for Will Young shows the latter progress through the stages to become a swimming champion

City Paradise – Gaelle Denis

Gaelle Denis’ much-loved and well-travelled short has been deservedly lauded at festivals worldwide since 2004. It tells the tale of the Japanese Tomoko, a newcomer to London, who after slipping at the swimming pool one day accidentally discovers a secret city underground inhabited by friendly little aliens and beautiful blossom. Blending live action and animation seamlessly, the film is wrapped up beautifully by Joanna Newsom’s angelic vocals on ‘Peach, Plum, Pear’ over the credits.

Waves – Adrian Sitaru

The beach can be a place full of contrasts, nowhere better depicted than in Sitaru’s Waves where the brilliant sunshine is starkly opposed to the film’s dark message about moral responsibility, and the seemingly relaxing atmosphere is so easily interrupted by a troubling event.

Oceania – Lynn Fox

Easily one of my all time favourite music videos, the talented Lynn Fox team created something truly magical for Bjork’s haunting melody.

Uma's relaxing interior: a space for well-being

Parisan salon and well-being space Uma is the spiritual and physical haven your body has been longing for, without knowing it.

Uma is also the name of founder Ken Assous’ daughter, and after listening to him talk to me so passionately about his other baby – the Uma salon – I’m convinced that he perceives both Umas occupy a place very close to his heart. The events surrounding the origins of the salon may certainly have a role to play here.

Ken founded Uma several years ago after discovering ayurvedic treatments and alternative exercise following a nasty accident. It’s heartwarming to know that a near-tragedy has since proved to be the source of such a resounding success – Uma is one of the most respected salons in Paris in the fields in which it operates.

Describing its specialities as ‘the arts of well-being and movement’, Uma’s offering is threefold – massage, yoga and gyrotonic. Of the three areas, we may consider massage to be their raison d’ être: there are twelve different types of Indian massage available (offering varying techniques and focusing on different parts of the body such as head, feet and back), as well as the Japanese Shiatsu massage and four different massages specially designed for pregnant women. Also on offer are reflexology, Reiki, Taoist face massage and more (some with exceedingly impressive names that may justify booking by email so as not to face the humiliation of mispronunciation on the telephone – Shashtishalipindswedam, anyone?)

I was lucky enough to enjoy a traditional Indian massage which was almost relaxing enough to lull me into a coma (no doubt assisted by the intoxicating aromas of two different types of massage oil). Based on the most ancient techniques, using just the right amount of pressure on every part of my body meant that I felt like I was walking on air the following day.

If my own non-massage-expert opinion has not yet convinced you of the wonder of Uma, let me tell you a little story. Lionel Pailles is Paris’ massage expert who in the name of research (nice job if you can get it!) took a tour of many of the city’s massage centres in order to prepare his critique. Inevitably, not all massages are good, but, after a bad one, there is one place which Monsieur Pailles trusted to put his body back in order each time – Uma.

Another little secret that Ken alerted me to was the difference between a genuine massage centre, and an ‘Institut de Beauté’ (beauty salon).  Believe it or not, there are only three centres genuinely specialised in massage in Paris, while there are countless beauty salons offering massage. Since typically beauticians may not have had the same level of specialised massage training as a dedicated massage therapist, it is visiting the latter that may put you more at risk of a bad massage.

For those who prefer their therapy to involve a bit more movement – which is not to say that both types of therapy can’t go hand in hand, of course – there is yoga and gyrotonic. Beginning with the former, there are daytime and evening classes of Hatha Yoga available, as well as a class for children aged 5-11, the pregnant woman, and the new mother. Gyrokinesis and the ancient Chinese art of Qi Gong are also on offer. Whilst all these exercises can be undertaken with a simple Yoga mat and teacher in front of you, the Uma salon is one of the rare centres to be fully equipped with the elaborate Gyrotonic machinery.

Take tea after your treatment at Uma's café

Gyrotonic derives its name from the combination of gyro – meaning circle – and tonic  – standing for strength and flexibility. Using multidimensional and circular movements in harmony with a special type of breathing, it seeks principally to elongate your muscles whilst also improving the articulation of your joints. A so-called ‘meditation in movement’, it draws on one’s physical and mental capacities at once, ultimately improving one’s strength, endurance, flexibility, balance, co-ordination, as well as stimulating the nervous system. It can also soothe, heal various ailments including muscle and joint problems, and significantly help with back problems, sciatica and arthritis.

Gyrotonic is particularly effective for the pregnant woman and the older lady. All of this takes place by linking you up to a rather mpressive-looking contraption. Since the machine can only accommodate one person at a time and your experience on it is tailored to your body and any problems it may have, classes are restricted to a maximum of three people. Consequently, Gyrotonic does not come in as cheaply as Yoga. However, for those with specific muscle or joint problems, it just might prove to be a very worthy investment.

Massages start at €50, yoga classes from €15, while an introduction to Gyrotonic is priced at €60. More information on UMA is available on the salon’s website.

See Barcelona's sights in style from the hotel's terrace

I had a good feeling about Gran Hotel La Florida from the moment I flagged a taxi at Barcelona Airport. After I handed the driver a card with the hotel’s address he actually raised it to his lips and kissed it. And while my Spanish definitely has room for improvement, I was able to pick out his ultra-fast ramblings of “el mejor [best] hotel de Barcelona”, “un mirador [viewpoint]” and “fanastico” along the way.

As we made the final approach to the hotel after an approximately-20-minute journey, I couldn’t think of a reason to dispute any of his opinions. Sitting majestically at one of the highest points of Barcelona (500 metres above it, to be precise), the sun-bathed Mediterranean exterior exudes such a justifiably self-assured grandeur that it almost seems to suggest that it owns the city beneath it.

The hotel’s fascinating history explains much. An original creation of Noucentista architect Ramón Raventós, his brief was to create an emblematic building that would project the prestige of Barcelona, in the most outstanding location of the city. Some years after its opening in 1925, the exterior of the building was declared to be of historical interest, and ordered to be kept intact – the imposing façade we see today is the original, still standing exactly as Raventós intended.

In 1939, the hotel was used as a military hospital during the Spanish Civil War. After a first restoration in the 40s, the Hotel La Florida subsequently became the location of choice of the Catalan bourgeoisie. It subsequently welcomed well-known figures including Ernest Hemingway, James Stewart, Rock Hudson, Princess Fabiola and the Prince of Belgium and in 2001 the hotel had a thorough restoration which introduced the Zen Zone Spa. Today the hotel has 70 rooms, including exclusive designer suites with Jacuzzis, private gardens and terraces.

This sense of history can be felt immediately on entering the hotel through the exquisite décor which combines the traditional and the new – the Noucentista and the avant-garde – at every turn. Photos of the hotel from the 1920s and 1930s are juxtaposed with bold and dazzling contemporary art from the likes of award-winning designer duo Dale and Patricia Keller and British artists Ben Jakober and Yannick Vu. It was Jakober and Vu’s dazzling 27-metre-high fibre-optic work entitled Homage to Gaudi which was the first artwork to greet me as I entered the hotel, just before I was rapidly intercepted by incredibly warm and welcoming hotel staff who presented with a glass of Cava.

As I was shown to my room, the window beckoned immediately – my balcony presented a breathtaking view of Barcelona, the surrounding area and the Mediterranean sea. This would be just the first of many spectacular views I’d have from every angle at different sites in and around the hotel.

Elsewhere in my generously sized and impeccably decorated room was a large wall-mounted plasma TV with full access to international TV channels, internet, music and games. The hotel’s bathroom was generously stocked with L’Occitane en Provence miniatures, alongside luxury robes, towels and slippers (although my slippers were often forsaken so I could take advantage of the heated floor…).

Another room with a view. (And a private Jacuzzi.)

It would be easy to while away hours in the hotel’s luxurious rooms but for relaxation elsewhere it’s only a short amble to the hotel spa, which offers 500m² of luxury facilities including a Jacuzzi, steam room, sauna, more exotic showers, gym, hydromassage baths, ice fountain, relaxation zone and the hotel’s renowned 37m heated interior/exterior pool made from stainless steel and surrounded by specially designed interactive visuals projected along the walls.

The outdoor infinity edge pool allowed me to swim (or merely float) while taking in the ultimate view of Barcelona. Different from that of my room (more Easterly-orientated) this was the Holy Grail – the total panorama. It was unsurprising therefore to find loungers and bar/restaurant tables here, staggered over various tiered terraces. On sultry summer evenings there would be little reason to leave this patch at all…

If you do want to take sanctuary on the inside, the salon is there for all your beauty and relaxation needs, offering an extensive range of facial and body treatments, including massages, honey body scrubs, reflexology, Dead Sea mud baths, Thai four-handed massages, volcanic stone therapy, Swiss chocolate treatments and more.

If, between all of these potential activities, you find the time to eat, then the hotel’s own L’Orangerie restaurant offers a wide range of Mediterranean dishes featuring fresh, seasonal products on a regularly refreshed menu. Both its indoor and outdoor tables allow you to eat while taking in the magnificent view of the city.

You could genuinely forget to leave the hotel and visit Barcelona. The hotel does, however, make your trip to the centre as easy as possible by offering a free shuttle bus which runs several times a day. If you can’t get onto the bus (there are only six places per ride, which must be booked ahead), all is not lost as you can take the local bus, funicular and metro to get the to Placa de Catalunya in about 40 minutes. The journey is even shorter to northern attractions such as the Parc Guell.

If you don’t want to go all the way into town or fancy a change, there is at least one day’s worth of entertainment to be had from the Tibidabo theme park which is just around the corner, although not close enough to disturb you while you’re at the hotel. However, since it would be a shame to not visit Barcelona proper at least once try to summon the resolve to leave your five-star surroundings at least for a short while. We’ve included some local tips below to see you on your way…

For reservations and information, see the Gran Hotel La Florida website.

Top Barcelona tips:

Café/Bar: La Teteria Clandestina – a supremely chilled bohemian lounge where one can smoke both shisha and cigarettes surrounded both by local artists and local art. Viladecols 2 Bis

Restaurant: Qué bec? – a popular tapas restaurant that continues to draw a loyal local clientele rather than the tourists who monopolise Las Ramblas. The lunchtime menu is excellent value. Calle Dagueria 12

Objects of lust: Heritage –  surprisingly affordable vintage and antique clothing and accessories in a to-die-for décor. Calle des Banys nous 14

How to tell when a relationship is over (in ninety seconds) – Tony Roche

Doing what it says on the tin, in a mere minute and a half you’ll have ingested a handy guide to all the warning signs of a doomed relationship: a very small investment for an excellent return.

Can we talk – Jim Owen

British Jim Owen’s film took him all the way to the US Sundance Film Festival earlier this year, after it was selected in competition. He returned with a deserved Honorable Mention in Short-filmmaking. Rarely in eleven minutes will you so frequently oscillate between feeling pity and simply cringing. Without doubt, if asked, this must be the break-up scene that most people would hope never to recreate.

Oedipus – Rong

Another highly original offering from the renowned Bristol-founded ‘Rong’ collective, the innovative animated poem Oedipus manages to vulgarise the language of love in a way you never imagined possible.

Les Amours Perdus – Caroline Sascha Cogez

Sit down with a cup of tea and biscuits – or a G&T and crisps, depending on your mood – for this Dutch treasure, named after (and featuring) the Serge Gainsbourg anthem to lost love. But this will be 22 minutes well-spent, if only to teach us what exactly to do when you catch him/her red-handed, and bare-bottomed…

Alice et Moi (extracts) – Micha Wald

The ultimate break-up film for me, and one that is sadly no longer available in full online. This miniature masterpiece of wit from Belgian director Micha Wald charts poor Simon’s turbulent afternoon torn between four separate, verbose and rather opinionated women.

Love me or leave me alone – Duane Hopkins

An early sign of rising British Director Duane Hopkins’ talent, this tale of short film was directed all the way back in directed this short back in 2003. A study in the difficulties of articulating feelings when you’re young, and particularly, when you’re both in the countryside where there is a rarely a place to hide.

Le Weekend – Timothy Smith

Not technically about a break-up, twisted love, or perhaps any love at all – Le Weekend is an eloquent eulogy to ambiguity. We’ve all been there – does s/he, doesn’t s/he? – and we’ve all been unsure about how best to manage it if we can’t reciprocate. Emotional fuzziness depicted perfectly in the visual fuzziness of Super 8, Timothy Smith has created a beautifully narrated little gem that reaches out to a past experience in all of us.

Wrong – Tom Geens

Finally, and regrettably unembeddable, I give you the definition of Twisted Love – Tom Geens’ Wrong. It’s not the unrequited love part that’s weird, nor even the use of plastic for sexual gratification, but rather the idea of combining these ideas into a physical reality, then washing it off, and drying it, and folding it, and putting it in a bag and – nah, it would be wrong to say any more – you’ll just have to suffer through it yourself… Watch here.

This year, it seems that the ‘Sundance spirit’ has infected Cannes; by which I refer to the presence of a number of shorts directed by well-known actors (Sundance is renowned for this). The evidence:

● Cherished French actor Louis Garrel (and son of renowned director Philippe Garrel) presents Le petit tailleur in the Director’s Fortnight – a love-triangle with a whiff of the New Wave to it.

● The Kirsten Dunst-directed Bastard (her second short after Welcome which can be viewed in full here, extract below) addresses “the eerie transformation of a familiar myth when displaced to the present”, says its director. This is showing during the closing ceremony of Critics’ Week, alongside…

● James Franco’s The Clerk’s Tale, based on the poem of the same name by Spencer Reece. It’s a psychological portrait of a gay man trapped in the monotonous routine of life at a high-end menswear store – a haunting and delicately observed study in loneliness.

Showing as part of the Director’s Fortnight, Mary Last Seen by US director Sean Durkin has piqued my interest. This 14-minute tale shows us a young woman who embarks on a road trip with her boyfriend. However, a series of strange events occur on their journey, and it becomes clear that their relationship is not what she thinks and their destination is not what was promised. Take a look at the trailer below:

Shikasha by Isamu Hirabayashi from Japan seems eerily intriguing:

“There are investigators searching on a wasteland.
Imprisoned and bound by rope, a mother and child lay in darkness.
Investigators begin to dig a hole in the ground…”

Here is one of Hirabayashi’s previous shorts, Slow Dance:

Our Pick of the Best in Show

Desperation in immigration is a theme that crops up in a number of films, including Zed Crew by Noah Pink, from Zambia. The non-professional actors featured (filmed by a two-person crew)  are intent on making it as rappers in New York City, “but when they find out that getting into the United States is next to impossible, they take desperate measures to pursue their dreams”.

Included in the Cinéfondation programme, Kim Tae-Yong’s Frozen Land presents the tale of Kyung-jae and Byung-jo, who make money from smuggling illegal immigrants from China into South Korea. One day, all the stowaways, except a young woman, die while being transported in a refrigerator van. Kyung-jae and Byung-jo now have to decide whether to get rid of her or not.

The Minutes, The Hours from Cuban director Janaína Marques Ribero tells the tale of Yoli, who has always lived with her mother in a humble neighborhood of Havana. One day, a man invites her out and she decides to wait for him, resulting in her first ever rejection of her mother’s company.

Shelley by US director Andrew Wesman brings a horror-thriller element: one summer night, 14 year old Shelley impulsively commits a horrific crime. Stunned, she and her boyfriend try to comprehend what has occurred and what they should do next. Her life has changed forever.

And there’s a horror of a different kind in Blocks from Chilean Director Marialy Rivas. The short follows the story of Luchito, a 13-year-old boy, who masturbates while he obsessively contemplates Manuel, his 16-year-old neighbor, whom he can see standing by a window in an adjacent project building. The window turns into an erotic cinematographic world that awakens a curiosity in Luchito, with disastrous repercussions for Manuel.

Meanwhile in First Aid from Israeli director Yarden Karmin we have another tricky romantic situation.  A day before his wedding, Shai visits Tamar, his ex-girlfriend, for a final tempestuous encounter. When Tamar leaves him with a hickey, things get complicated!

And finally, the last film I’d be locking myself in the videothèque for is Muscles from Oz director Edward Housden. Richard’s sister Millie wants to be a world famous bodybuilder, but her strength starts to threaten Richard’s own masculinity…

Twelve days of red carpet moments...

The Festival de Cannes is at once a field of dreams and a battleground: the stakes are high, the possibilities endless. Whether you’re a producer, distributor, promoter, journalist, photographer, actor or simply a cinemagoer, there are a thousand others just like you at Cannes and you need to fight at every stage to stand out from the others and get what you want, whether it’s the scoop of the festival, a prize, distribution deal or mere ticket to a screening.

Inevitably therefore, ego and hierarchy both come out to play. And nowhere is the ego more sensitive than among our directors. This article will take a look at the feature film programming for Cannes 2010 (12th – 23rd May) – across all the competitions – moving from our big name directors in and out of competition, down to the rising talent to look out for, the names that inspire fear in our established directorial titans, terrified that they may be upstaged by a little-known ingénue…

The Cannes Festival 101

Before we begin, here’s a very quick rundown of the different Cannes programmes, since one can so easily get lost in the jargon – each has its own particular traits and qualities, as well as commanding a different type of respect. At the heart of the festival, the centre of attention is always the ‘Official Competition’, where around 20 films from across the globe compete for the holy Palme d’Or (Golden Palm). Here it’s very rare to find first-time directors, but rather familiar auteur faces, Cannes old-handers – rumours and records attest to the fact that it’s rare for a previous Palme d’Or winner to ever be rejected from the Official Competition.

Alongside this runs ‘Un Certain Regard’ – a respected and more leftfield collective of lesser-known talents. A handful of films make up the ‘Out of competition’ collection – this is where Cannes can put its Hollywood blockbusters without being judged, and two of these will open and close the festival. Around ten other films make up the midnight and special screenings.

At the same time, two other collections outside the festival run at the same time – Critics’ Week and the Directors’ Fortnight. Their main objectives are the discovery of new talent, but just occasionally, you’ll get some surprises, sometimes resulting from egos that have been bruised elsewhere, as I’ll explain later. It’s worth noting that all of these selections have accompanying short films selections, except for A Certain Regard, while there is another short film section called the Cinefondation which has a training programme for featured directors during the festival. We look at the shorts directors in this month’s special edition Magathèque.

What’s happening at Cannes 2010?

The out of competition selection is no less glitzy than usual, with at least two films providing food for meditation on property and money – they are Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood (opening the festival) and Oliver Stone’s Wall Street 2. Woody Allen is in there too with You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger – his first film with rumoured-new-muse Freida Pinto, acting alongside a titanic ensemble featuring Naomi Watts, John Brolin, Anthony Hopkins and more. Interestingly, Allen has shown rather atypical Cannes-director behaviour – although the festival has always been loyal to Allen, Festival Director Thierry Frémaux says the director refused their request to feature his film in competition. In any case, all these films give the festival its requisite injection of glamour, will rain a shower of international superstars onto their red carpet, and guarantee front page splashes worldwide.

Onto the competition, you do have to know your world cinema to navigate your way through! Starting at the top, we’ve got Bourne Identity director Doug Liman (the sole American) with his Naomi Watts-Sean Penn spy thriller Fair Game, alongside Mike Leigh single-handedly flying the British flag with two of his regulars – Imelda Staunton and Jim Broadbent – in Another Year. Moving onto Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu – the man behind Amores Perros and 21 Grams, he brings us Biutiful, featuring Javier Bardem. Inarritu hasn’t yet delivered a gem since parting ways with his long-time screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga, but Biutiful will deliver another multistranded narrative in the style that he’s made his own, with Javier Bardem.

Bardem on the set of Biutiful with Inarritu

The French contingent is made up by seasoned veteran Bertrand Taverier with period drama La Princesse de Montpensier, while Mathieu Almaric, a relative directorial amateur (better known as an actor – he is our latest bond villain) has snuck in with Tournée. This is quite interesting since there are a couple of key French absences, notably Potiche from Francois Ozon, and Miral from Julian Schnabel.

Abbas Kiarostami delivers his first film made outside Iran (shot in Tuscany) Copie Conforme starring Juliette Binoche (who graces this year’s poster), while Takeshi Kitano is back with Outrage. South Korea stake out their territory with The Housemaid from Im Sangsoo – a remake of a 1960s thriller about a man who has an affair with the family housemaid, and Poetry from Lee Chang-dong, a dark character study about a woman trying to come to terms with her husband’s death.

The current list presents 16 films, while we can normally expect 20. This suggests they may pull four out of the wings at the last minute. Fingers are crossed across the cinematic blogosphere that one of these will be Terence Malick’s Tree of Life featuring Brad Pitt.

Regarding Un Certain Regard…

The titan of Un Certain Regard this year is Jean-Luc Godard, who is mysteriously credited as the sole director of Socialisme, although it is a portmanteau film featuring short films by seven directors. Six different trailers have intriguingly been released for the feature – scroll down to check out just one of them.

101-year old Portgueuse director Manoel de Oliveira is still going strong, bringing us The Strange Case of Angelica, while Romanian director Cristi Puiu, previous winner of Un Certain Regard with The Death of Mr Lazarescu is back with Aurora. Canadian wunderkid Xavier Dolan is at his second Cannes – last year he blew everyone’s socks off with I Killed my Mother – which he directed and acted in, at 19 years of age.

Ring director Hideo Nakata’s Chatroom – a horror depicting youths who meet online and go wild – sounds oddly un-Cannes-like, but intriguing. Rivalling him in the horror stakes is first-time French director’s Fabrice Gobert’s Simon Werner has disappeared – a Paris-set high school murder mystery – while there’s more youth culture in David Verbeek’s R U There, described as a film about the children of Google, YouTube and Second Life. It’s all very 21^st century. On the likely-to-hit-a-good-number-of-cinemas front, we’ve also got Derek Cianfrance’s Blue Valentine, featuring Michelle Willaims and Ryan Gosling as a couple breaking up.

Anything else we shouldn’t miss?

This leaves us with Critics Week and the Directors’ Fortnight. Of the mere seven competition features in Critics’ Week I’m looking forward to Ola Simonsson and Johannes Stjärne Nilsson’s Sound of Noise – this Swedish duo made one of the most original short films I’ve ever seen, also heavily centred on sound – Music for one Apartment and Six Drummers. Meanwhile, out of competition is Quentin Dupieux – aka Flat Eric – who premieres Rubber, described intriguingly as a tale about the adventures of a telepathic, murdering tyre in the Californian desert. Yep, I typed and you read that right.

It really is a horror film about a tyre..

The Director’s Fortnight has a new head this year – Frédéric Boyer, who has made it clear where his priorities lie: “Films by well-known directors don’t interest us as much. The Forinight’s purpose is to discover new talent. I’m more interested in filmmakers that have never been seen before.” Indeed, half this year’s line up will be from new directors. This is all interesting since this strand opened last year with Francis Ford Coppola’s Tetro after the director snubbed the offer of a non-competing slot…

What captured my interest is that we finally see some interesting female directing talent here, from two professionals who I’ve watched on the short film circuit. Alicia Duffy directed Bafta-nominated The Most Beautiful Man in the World, while Katel Quillevéré has an excellent short film portfolio, often exploring blossoming sexuality – in fact (warning, plug) she is a keystone in my programme of erotic short films by female filmmakers at the upcoming Sexy Paris Film Festival. It’s consistent that her feature A Violent Poison features a young Catholic girl troubled by a burgeoning emotional and physical desire for a free-spirited boy, just as she’s preparing for her confirmation. Meanwhile Duffy’s début All Good Children is a psychological drama about two Irish children dealing with their mother’s suicide in France.

Personally, I’m excited about Danish director Christoeffer Boe’s Everything will be fine, offering us a thriller with a film director who flees the scene of a car accident  but later discovers that the man he ran into has a dangerous secret – hopefully not autobiographical… The US entry from Cam Archer – Shit Year – presents a has-been Hollywood actor falling in love with a younger man. Meanwhile, Boyer predicts lots of attention for the politically charged The Light Thief from Kyrgyzstan’s Aktan Arym Kubat.

And ultimately, it’s that last sentence that reminds us of the beauty of the Cannes experience – it’s one of a tiny handful of festivals that give you the whole panorama of cinema, from that guilty dash of Hollywood through to Iranian, Malaysian, Russian, Italian, Thai or Mexican – it’s all there and more, reminding us that any country can deliver a wonderful cinematic experience. Whether there’s a name in the credits that you recognise or not, the most important thing is to be open-minded. Whatever the predictions are beforehand, they’re rarely right – the festival will unfold in its won way, throwing surprises at you from every angle, and best of all, the rest of the world will spend the next year trying to catch up.

Cattier's skincare products and clay face mask

Organic beauty ranges may be two-a-penny these days, but it hasn’t always been this way. In fact, they certainly weren’t so widespread back in 1968, which is when Cattier was founded. To survive, and especially, to remain faithful to one’s original raison d’être for over 40 years in an incredibly competitive marketplace, in the international capital of beauty products, is an impressive feat.

And with the explosion in the organic beauty offering, it raises some interesting questions about what defines ‘organic’ – a word that’s bandied about very easily. Cattier proudly informs us that it’s chosen to adhere to the very strict guidelines of the Ecological and Biological Cosmetics reglementation adopted by the French Ministry of Industry and Commerce. To be ‘Bio’ (organic) as they say over here:

●        At least 95% of all ingredients should be of natural origin

●        At least 95% of all vegetable ingredients should be from organic farming

●        At least 10% of all ingredients should be from organic farming

●        The company must prove itself energy-efficient and recycling-friendly

It’s reassuring to know that all the Cattier products labelled as organic respect these guidelines, so that while taking care of your skin, you can be sure you’re looking after nature too. As you’d expect, this philosophy extends to the packaging which is all 100% recyclable.

So which products are Cattier’s specialities? I knew that their clay mask range was a winner long before I tried it – the green clay variation is the number one accessory among the ladies at Paris’ Mosque spa. I was not however aware that clay was man’s first known natural medicine, nor that its different colour variations corresponded neatly to try treating dry (yellow clay), oily (green), sensitive (pink), and ‘normal’ (white) skin. I’m definitely a fan of the green variety and have officially joined the club who never attend the Mosque spa without it.

Their organic face care range combines a foaming mousse, non-alcoholic beauty lotion, make-up removing fluid for sensitive eyes, and make-up removing milk. Having tried the last of the four, I was pleased to note that it can be used for both face and eyes (yep, I’m lazy, and even more so after a night out) and that it left my face really clean and soft. As a long-time devotee of face-washing (rather than cleansing with a cotton pad), this product reminded me that the other side is definitely worth reconsidering.

Cattier's natural shampoos

Cattier’s organic shampoos, using ingredients as diverse as yoghurt, rosemary vinegar, willow-tree wood, and the favourite green clay, are definitely worth a try. One of the greatest pleasures in using organic products is surely seeking out the most unlikely ingredient you can massage into your face, hair or body…

Best of all, Cattier commit to making their products affordable, Face masks start at the remarkably un-Paris-like price of €4.38, you’ll get change from €9 when buying the cheapest make-up remover, while each 250ml of shampoo will set you back just €8.15.

Being kind to the planet doesn’t have to cost the earth!

Find out more about Cattier’s organic products online here.

Le Baiser (The Kiss) – Stefan Le Lay

Paying homage to the 19th century silent movie, our tale unfolds on a beach where our heroine, equipped with a love letter, excitedly awaits the arrival of its sender. But everything seems to go wrong as soon as they try to kiss: the negative splits in two and after the cinema engineer tries to remedy the situation, everything turns upside down! A topsy-turvy tale of sea, sand and special effects that’s definitely worth dipping into.

Le baiser de Stéfan Le Lay
envoyé par lachiquita. – Découvrez plus de vidéos créatives.

The Bloody Olive – Vincent Bal

After Sam arrives at Mylene and Werner’s with a bottle of Veuve Cliquot, The Bloody Olive takes us on a film noir tale of countless twists and turns that make it the ultimate Christmas film as far as I’m concerned. Daringly directed, it showcases effortless Eastern European style (and accents) entwined in an engrossing intrigue.

Fast Film – Virgil Widrich

Many moons after my first viewing, I never cease to be amazed by the skill and effort involved in Virgil Widrich’s revolutionary Fast Film. An animated homage to motion pictures, Fast Film was created by folding a phenomenal 65,000 print outs of film frames form 300 films, into three-dimensional objects, in a process that took 2 years.

Simultaneously referencing the classic action movie, in 14 minutes Fast Film provides a tour de force through film history, from its silent beginnings to present-day Hollywood. It’s only appropriate that it has inspired a league of copycat short films that have been made in the same way. So cult has this film deservedly become that its creators have now made a full tri-lingual website to answer any questions you could possibly have. And if you enjoy this, check out this clip from Copy Shop.

La Flamme – Ron Dyens

A little reminiscent of ‘Le Baiser’ seen earlier, another couple of lovers are trying to meet on the beach, this time at Deauville. Everything looks promising until the titular flame threatens sabotage! At just over a minute and a half long, this little film is a modest miniature masterpiece.

Not your typical hair salon...

Sylvie Coudray rushed into the waiting room to meet me, awakening me from my dozy reverie featuring scenes of 19^th century grandeur not far removed from any Balzac novel set in Parisian high society. She oozes a natural glamour. I’ve arrived straight from work and am feeling more than a little rough around the edges. I’m about to have my after hours hair appointment at La Nouvelle Athènes, after which I will leave feeling like a million dollars (/euros *delete as appropriate).

So, as the salon is her creation, let’s take a closer look at our founder – who is she? Sylvie Coudray started out as a fine art and art history student, who had a particular interest in architecture and sculpture. This perhaps isn’t the most obvious training for a hairdresser, but it has a very key role to play, as I’ll explain later. Long before creating her own salon, Sylvie began a career in fashion – styling notably for high fashion catwalk shows and photoshoots – a career which was to last 20 years. Despite her working environment and experience (and surely a contact book to make any wannabe fashionista weep), she explained to me that each time she went to the hairdresser’s, she was disappointed. She felt that there were flaws throughout the whole experience – from the décor and ambiance through the treatment of both the client and her hair. Quite simply, she decided that her next project would be to open a salon in which she personally would like to have her hair cut.

The first thing that strikes you on entering La Nouvelle Athènes – even the street it’s on – is whether you’ve got the right address. You feel like you’re going to someone’s house: the house of someone very chic. We are in “Paris Neuvième” – the city’s  most stylish arrondissement. But I’m armed with all the door codes, and ascend two flights of the impressive staircase where I reach the designated address. As the doors open I see drapes. There are dazzling floor-to-very-high-ceiling red curtains in every direction I look. There are Louis XIV style armchairs in abundance. As I’m given a guided tour, I observe not a single item of electrical equipment on show, nor pictures or posters of models on the walls. In fact instead we have art works at all angles – she uses the salon as a space to expose the paintings, photos and sculptures of artists, which is a fantastic idea and continues the legacy of the artists and writers who inevitably frequented the apartment some 200+ years ago (I can almost smell them…).

But what’s beneath the surface of this impressive exterior? Sylvie explains to me that the salon’s approach is very simple – not to follow trends or fashion, not to give you an ‘it’ haircut style you’ve picked at random from the latest hair or gossip magazine, but rather to treat every client as an individual and to give them a perfect haircut that suits them to a tee and brings out their natural beauty. This might mean making big changes, or changing very little. However, based on an extensive visual analysis of your face and upper body, she will be able to give you a cut that makes you shine. I’m intrigued already.

A gloriously romantic setting for a haircut

Firstly, by suggesting a style to you, she has already removed half the psychological stress of going to the hairdresser. Personally, as a lifetime owner of long-tresses whose colour I’ve rarely touched, I’ve always felt a mixture of guilt and disappointment that I hardly see any difference when I go to the hairdresser. Yet, I have always been confident that this vague style is what suits me best. So, instead of having to utter the immortal ‘well nothing too different, just a trim, keep it long, retain the shape – maybe let me know what you think we can do with the fringe?’ (my cue for them to try and use their imagination on something), which is usually followed later by the stylist going ‘what do you want me to do with the fringe?’, all this pressure was relieved by knowing that Sylvie was going to confidently work her magic (and hopefully transform me into a supermodel like those from her previous career…a girl can dream…).

As I sat down, she duly delivered on her promise. We spent at least 15 minutes discussing my face shape – oval – which I’d already defined myself from those face charts in teen magazines back in the day. However, it wasn’t until now that I’d really understood what that meant and what the implications were. In fact, they can’t even be discussed until we’ve factored in the form of my neck and shoulders. She showed me from different angles that whilst my neck is long as seen from the back and sides, it actually looks shorter at the front because of the high angle of my ‘trapezium’ – aka the triangles joining my neck to my shoulders. Suddenly I understand the link to her architectural background – Sylvie observes your features like an architect, a designer, an artist – and she uses a mix of art and science to create the most aesthetically pleasing forms. It’s like I’m her living work of art!

Our mission now is to do everything to try and make my neck look longer and more elegant. This means keeping my hair at at least mid-length, so that when it falls in front, it breaks the triangular angle of my trapezium and creates the illusion of a longer neck. Sylvie explained that I could never really pull off hair shorter than my shoulder as it would make me look unnecessarily wide – this was so great to hear from a professional! I’d always suspected a bob wouldn’t suit me, despite the occasional fantasy otherwise, but now I know that I will never be able to do the Jean Seberg, alas.

The oval shape of my face produces more ramifications – taking all my hair off my face would make it subtly too long; pinning it high on my head would do likewise; a long fringe would make the face look too wide, as would having my hair poker straight and half covering my cheeks. She set to work on crafting me a halfway-house fringe, and opening up my face with outward facing layers around my cheeks. And she cuts the hair while it’s dry so as to see immediately how it is reacting.

La Nouvelle Athènes oozes elegance

Happily, she told me that I didn’t need any drastic changes, but rather some subtle improvements. As she finished a short time later, I could immediately see what she was talking about. She said that while I didn’t need any styling products (which is convenient as she doesn’t use them and I don’t like them), she simply rubbed some Nivea face cream on her hands and gently through the bottom of my hair to alleviate some static. She described to me the best ways to style it and explained that it was a cut designed to last, that I shouldn’t think about another cut before 3 months have passed. It was refreshing not to hear someone tell me to call them in 6 weeks, which typically precedes the hard sell on the products – La Nouvelle Athènes does not offer you any products to buy (they’re not even behind the reception desk gazing at you). I was liking this place more and more.

The great thing about my experience was that I left feeling like an absolute princess. I hadn’t just got the latest cut off page 33 of Hair magazine like 20 of her previous clients, but rather I had my very own special haircut, unique to me. If I’d wanted, I could have extended it by asking for an eyebrow tweeze, or make-up and nails. And even better, the prices are incredibly modest for the value of the experience. I would highly recommend a visit whether you live in Paris or are just passing through (Sylvie and her modest team all speak fluent English). I am already counting down to my return.

www.lanouvelleathenes.com

Cut and blow-dry €70 / Colouring from €35