What do you hate about your other half?

Imagine if your partner kept a log of everything you did, in their eyes, wrong. As a serial magazine hoarder, pile accumulator, and general mess-magnet, I really wouldn’t fare well. Neither would my other half to be honest: there’s the pile of cutlery he neglects when he washes up simply because he dislikes doing it, his serial forgetfulness at things I’ve chatted to him about, and the scary fast driving. But would any of these no longer lovable traits really make me want to leave him, or vice versa?

Christina Hopkinson’s latest novel tempts the reader to delve in to their own relationship with the question, ‘What’s the thing you hate about the one you love?’

For Mary Gilmour, the protagonist in The Pile of Stuff at the Bottom of the Stairs, it is a seemingly long list of things: the pile of stuff at the bottom of the stairs; neglected chores and a loss of identity, which prompted her to do take drastic action. Fed up of having to juggle a marriage, two kids, work and keeping a clean home, and her groans falling on deaf ears, Mary starts to compile The List, a meticulously laid out spreadsheet documenting every single misdemeanour her husband Joel commits. To everyone around her Joel is the perfect dotting partner and father, who she is just so lucky to have bagged; to Mary he is more like the third child, she never really planned to have.

The rules are simple: every ‘crime’ Joel commits is marked down and appropriate points deducted, be it siding with his mother in discussions or failing to call home if he’s working late. Unprompted compliments, putting the kids to bed and other acts deemed ‘good’ behaviour, gain points. If at the end of six months of secret monitoring, Joel reaches his allocated amount, divorce, Mary figures, is inevitable. And if he doesn’t, well she’ll cross that line if she comes to it.

The story takes us through the next three months, harking back occasionally to the early days of their romance, when Joel was the young office hottie and Mary, a successful and independent TV exec. The book’s title wouldn’t look out of place in the self help section of Amazon, and although perhaps unintentionally, the novel does offer just that. Seeing Mary’s whirlwind romance, a match made in heaven on paper, lose it lustre through marriage-tinted spectacles, I can’t help making comparisons to my own 7 ½ year-long relationship; a far more blissful set-up than Mary and Joel’s thankfully, but in some ways uncannily similar.

The scenarios Mary gets in to are so vividly told, I find myself swaying between anger and frustration at her stubbornness, sorrow at some of her predicaments, and laughing along at her husband’s faux pas. Then there’s the quirky circle of friends she mixes with, such as the eco-lah-di-dah lovey Mitzi with her finely tuned Grand Designs lifestyle; Alison, aka Angrison, and her crazy online ClutterBye mentor; and Becky, the sensible lawyer and doesn’t hold back on her feelings about The List.

A great read which will provide you with plenty of food for thought, perfect for whiling away a boring commute or packing for the beach. Though, coupled ups beware, it may well prompt you to re-evaluate your current set-up.

For more information and to purchase The Pile of Stuff at the Bottom of the Stairs by Christina Hopkinson, click here.

The trailer for The Pile of Stuff at the Bottom of the Stairs