MC Hammer makes Harem pants look, err...?

I don’t attest to be an authority on the matter, but I have become increasingly concerned with the prevalence over recent months of (what I am informed, is the official term) ‘Harem Pants.’

These ‘parachute pants’ were a staple garment of the 1980s. This in itself should serve as a sizeable deterrent to anyone thinking of purchasing a pair of pantaloons. Many people remember the 80s as a decade widely acknowledged to be fashion’s darkest hour. What possesses the powers-that-be to resurrect one of the more cringe-worthy pieces from that decade’s doldrums is anathema to me.

I would expect fashionistas to tell me that it is a reaction to all the ‘skinny’ styles we have seen in recent years. Although there may be some truth in this point, I have a sneaking suspicion that is a collective laugh on the part of Europe’s designers, at the expense of the nation’s women.

Even by the particularly low standards set during the 80s, these trousers turned respectable young professionals into, what appeared to be, clown impersonators. I find it almost impossible to envisage a point when this imagery can be shaken to an adequate extent for these monstrosities to become popular again. I am struggling to picture women in clubs and bars up and down the country performing MC Hammer routines in oversized trousers, but this could soon become a reality. It would certainly decrease the capacities of most bars significantly.

This is not say that they won’t be hugely popular, and re-establishes them within the female psyche. However, it is safe to say they do not flatter; instead they may flatter to deceive… We as men often struggle to comprehend certain behavioural traits on the part of the fairer sex and, it is safe to say, this incomprehensible trend falls firmly into this category.