I have flabby arms, I like Britney Spears and I’m a fan of McLovin. But my Facebook friends wouldn’t know it.

Log on to the world of Fakebook where self-censorship is rife and you are somehow friends with your mates, cousins, that auntie who lives in a remote part of India, but whom you’ll never “poke”, let alone meet.

Yes, that’s me in the profile picture. The most attractive, thinnest picture I could find, where in the split second the camera went FLASH, I managed to look like a better-looking version of myself.

Mondays have become “screening day” and the “remove tag” button, my new best friend. Photo of me and my ample upper arms? Untag. Photo of me after a few too many wines? Untag. Photo of me with lettuce leaf on head? Untag. Untag. Untag.

If any of my Facebook friends walked past me in the street, they’d be disappointed. Or just not recognise me. For if you look at my photo albums, I always wear makeup, am dressed in my most fashionable clothes and have my stomach sucked in.

Socialising has now become more net and less work, as people lose touch of their real selves and along with it, real relationships.

At the beginning, you added Facebook friends like it was going out of fashion, watching gleefully as your number of pals rose from 50 to 1000. Friendship request from John Smith? Hmmm, I think I went to school with his brother’s friend’s sister…It doesn’t count that you wouldn’t say hello to this person if they walked past you in the street; it’s ok to “ignore” someone in real life, but not in front of the computer when they request your friendship.

But as a result, you are now bombarded with unwanted information about the lives of your Facebook friends. Do you care that Sophie just took the quiz “Best places to pash” or Bob became a fan of “Morning Sex”? Has it made your day that if Tim was an animal he’d be an otter?

There are some who are resorting to fake names and even two separate profiles to keep out unwanted Facebook friends and ensure only a select few know the real them. My boyfriend chooses to have a fake name on Facebook so no one can search for him. He can add the people he wants and stay hidden from any “friendship request” fiends lurking in cyber space.

Another friend, who is currently travelling around Europe keeps a “real” profile for his family and friends back home, while also having a “pseudo” profile to keep in touch with those he meets on his travels. This way, he prevents any family, friends or girlfriends from seeing him tagged in any uncompromising places, or positions.

And with more then 175 million active members of Facebook worldwide and more than 100,000 people registering to the networking site each day, the phenomenon isn’t slowing down.

So instead of picking up my Blackberry and logging onto Facebook, I’m going to dial a friend’s number and organise to catch up, face-to-face, flabby arms and all.