Time to relax is vitally necessary...

Giving yourself time to relax is (literally) vitally necessary. Ensuring you clock up regular doses of R’n’R is ensuring you keep your long-term overall health and well being in the black. Quite simply put, and to paraphrase Professor Herbert Benson of Harvard University, “Relaxation is the opposite of stress.” And, hell, don’t we all know what that feels like.

The problem is, a lot of us modern women seem to regard relaxation as either a luxury or self-indulgent. Furthermore, in this day and age where career and financial pressure is at an all time high, global travel and communications are tantamount to sticking the kettle on in the morning, and our social lives demand military iCal attention, relaxation isn’t a priority. We’re talking genuine relaxation, not an epic number of cocktails with the girls on a Friday night. Allow Running In Heels to tell you more about the whys, whens and hows…

Why Relax?

Following on from the ‘opposite of stress’ thing, relaxing your mind and body impacts positively on your cardiovascular system, blood sugar levels, adrenal system and mental health. Where we humans are designed to cope with the odd round of stress, too much of it or simply an all guns blazing lifestyle can lead to heart disease, weight and appetite problems, depression, insomnia, over-production of adrenalin, forgetfulness, skin irritations, hair loss and immunity issues. Relaxation helps shore up the prevention of such complications.

In allowing yourself time to relax, you regulate your heart rate, blood sugar, unclutter your mind, sleep better, bolster your immune system and generally keep your energy levels and mental health on the straight and narrow. When it comes to psychological affairs, the very act of letting yourself unwind is hugely affirmative in terms of self-esteem, self-worth and confidence. This is all good stuff. So, what’s stopping you from sticking that aforementioned kettle on, making yourself a brew and taking ten to read on?

When to Relax?

Everyday, lady. Incorporating around half-an-hour’s extreme down time each day is entirely do-able in the same way that there’s no excuse to miss breakfast. It’s important, and anyone who tells you otherwise – or makes you feel bad about it – needs a slap. And probably a hug too.

When you take your half hour or so is up to you. Depending on how you feel about the following suggestions, perhaps you’ll master the art of Om in your lunch break. Maybe early morning suits you better, or before bedtime. Heck, once you get really good at it, you might even be able to practice the Zen factor at work. In fact, this is your goal: to apply relaxation, or moreover a relaxed attitude, to all aspects of your life. Relaxation breeds more relaxation, just like stress breeds more stress and so on. So long as we practice it, our reactions to things become more reasoned and calm and our general pace of life clicks into sync with a rhythm that’s right for us.

Whatever the case, don’t just leave kicking back for the weekend and holidays.

How to Relax…

We’re not about to tell you a bubble bath or yoga class are the answers to all your problems, although go for your life with these if you wish. These points are more generalised and open to your own interpretation…

Audit Your Life

This is a biggie, but great for getting the ball rolling with some objective appraisal. This exercise in itself is massively therapeutic. Set aside an hour or so and draw up a reflective diary of a typical week in the life of you. List everything, from the time you usually wake up, how you normally feel first thing in the morning, your journey into work, what a typical working day looks and feels like for you, what you do when you get home/do after work, and the kinds of stuff you feed yourself throughout the day. Be as detailed as possible. Include social and leisure events and annotate to the best of your ability how they tend to make you feel and what kind of moods you experience.

Take stock of what really happens...

The point of this is to find out whether there are any subtle thorns that need attention. Where one-off stresses are easy to recognise (a break up, house move, redundancy, etc.), many of us are unaware that there might be certain habits or ongoing occurrences in our life that are having a negative drip-drip affect and taxing our health in the form of slow-cook stress. To that end, is there anything in your routine life that you could improve? Perhaps you don’t sleep well: why? Maybe the tube ride into work leaves you hot, bothered and in a foul mood when you get to the office: could you ditch the train for a bicycle? Do you often miss lunch because of your ever-growing workload and wonder why you’re knackered/starving /anxious by 5pm? Oh, and what’s with that ever-growing workload, by the way? Are there any hairy relationships with neighbours/colleagues that you’d wish would go away? You get the picture.

Now list all the practical suggestions you can think of to ameliorate or solve any problems – existing or potential – that you’ve pinpointed. You needn’t go all out Boudicca on personal improvements, but one by one, apply your positive and pro-active solutions. This may take several weeks to do, and indeed, will require time before you start noticing any shifts.

For more on personal appraisal, get a copy of Caroline Righton’s book, The Life Audit, where she offers tips and exercises to regain control.

Sleep…

It’s obvious really. Sleep is the ultimate relaxation. Okay, so you need more than half an hour to do it, but are you doing it properly? You’ll be familiar with the drill: six to eights hours a night of sound, uninterrupted zeds. And where the odd lie-in is great, too much sleep too regularly can (oddly) leave you sluggish and tired throughout the day. It’s important to make sure you sleep in total darkness, as this sends signals to your brain that it’s shut down time and optimises melatonin production, the relaxation chemical we produce. Light sources at nighttime will debilitate this resulting in a not-so-deep slumber and you not so refreshed the next morning. If you’re plagued by a streetlight outside, invest in a blackout blind or do an Audrey and get a groovy eye mask. Be mindful also of sleep sabotage: eating heavy meals late at night or drinking too much alcohol can put the kibosh on your kip. Give yourself thirty minutes before bedtime to unwind by reading, taking a warm bath or listening to music. A stimulant-free drink, like hot milk or chamomile tea is perfect. Avoid vigorous mental stimulation before you nod off: working, watching TV and using the computer. Yes, no Facebook trawling right before you hit the sack.

Don’t Forget to Laugh!

Laughter is the best medicine. It’s a tension buster, immune booster and makes us feel good. Laughing releases feel good endorphins, which ease pain and promote calm. Laughter also boosts production of antibodies, helping us insure against illness. It’s best to share your laughter with other people (it’s socially bonding, see) so each week schedule a hook up with a friend or two and get cackling. Friends are great for helping you see the funny side of life that otherwise might feel negative, but failing their availability, a humour-filled film or TV show is equally as edifying.

It’s Good to Talk

Forget couches and paying professionals: like laughing, get your friends in on the act. Make time to call or meet a friend (the same or different ones, it’s up to you) every week for a good old chinwag. For perspective’s sake, hold back on pouring out your woes and listen to what’s been going on in their lives. Do chat about what’s happening with you, of course, but aim to hang up or leave feeling positive and not just post-catharsis sesh. In that, make sure that the friend’s you chat with aren’t Eeyores. Where we love our glass-half-empty chums, in this instance (i.e. part of your relaxation programme) they’re probably not going to help with the desired effect.

Try going for a walk in the countryside

Go for a Walk

Exercise should be part of all our lives, but walking is a perfect way of getting our fill of it. Be it to and from work, foregoing the bus into town or suggesting a stroll instead of coffee with a friend for a catch up, it’s very easily incorporated into your life. On top of this, aim to take at least one good long walk a week in a piece of nearby nature. We tend to walk at the rate of our heartbeat, so if you’re under pressure, chances are you’ll stalk instead of amble. Be mindful of this: be gentle with your pace as this will trick your overall inner rhythm into calming down. Suspend your inner monologue as much as you can and instead take in your surroundings – listen to the sounds, take in the smells and sights. Walking without especial purpose is a brilliant way of clearing the cobwebs.

Get Creative

Where weekday evenings might mean you can catch up on Facebook, avoid fettering away hours this way. It’s way too easy to get lured into other people’s photographs, which is fine, but not so fine when it’s idle clicking. Instead, bust out your inner artist and get making. Whatever you want, painting, collage, knitting, sewing, jewellery making, cooking, exercising your inner creative (if you’re not already overt about it and even then, give it some bonus time) is a terrific way to relax. Artistic right-brained activity is unbound by time and stringent logic, so let it run free. In this way, we allow our left-brain an opportunity to quiet down which helps us ‘percolate’ problems and thoughts without interruption. Creative focus is hugely meditative and lowers heart rate. So stick your overalls on or grab your thimble and start making all your loved ones’ Christmas pressies. After all, that’ll save you from the stresses of last minute gift buying come December.

Have a Massage

True, this may require some cash, yet once a month, book yourself in for a professional massage. This is not self-indulgent: it’s being kind to yourself. What better way to relax? It lowers heart rate and unclutters the mind. All in all, it’s amazing for you health, particularly if you tend to suffer from tension or do a lot of sport. Yes, that’s once a month – book it and don’t compromise the appointment for anything bar extenuated circumstances.

Try Meditation

Okay; that word might have scared a few of you away, but we don’t mean sitting in the lotus position atop waterfalls in Thailand. Meditation can be done anywhere – gazing out of the window on a train journey, on a park bench in the sun during your lunch break, in the bath, right before you go to sleep – but the key here is that it’s not a time to let your brain go on a crunching mission. The point is to let your thoughts ‘swim’ around without falling on any one in particular or giving anything in your head especial focus. To start with, your head might sound ‘loud’: that’s normal. Let it whinge, as in time you’ll find that your thoughts get used to your meditation time and die down. The other important thing is to let your mouth smile, even if you’re feeling crappy. You’ll be surprised to find that this smile won’t be a forced one by the time you’re done – fifteen minutes is all you need. Of course, peaceful places are best for this: avoid noisy, densely peopled places.

Don't hold us responsible for this...

Guilty Pleasures…

We’ve all got them; certain things we secretly love that we’re not all too quick to admit to. There again, it may not be the admittance thing but rather things that we’re mindful not to let ourselves get too used to having or doing. Well screw that. Whether it’s a TV show or series, Haagen Dazs, cheesy disco dancing, sifting through thrift stores, shoes or Mills and Boon, stop pretending it’s not there and let it out the box. Depending on the GP in question, treat yourself to it on a regular basis – once a week, say for that series you love, and maybe a little less often if it’s Christian Louboutin (RIH will not be held responsible for chasms in overdrafts). This isn’t so explicitly a physical relaxation exercise: it’s more about accepting who you are and what you like, the fundaments to bolstering your self-confidence.

Do Dance!

Like laughing again, dancing’s awesome tension relief. You don’t need a light up dance floor: your living room will do. What’s key here is that you really let loose; don’t take yourself too seriously or be self-conscious. Just freestyle. It’s doesn’t matter how off beat you are, as long as you’re going for it, you’re doing good. Half an hour’s dancing is magic exercise as well, and your endorphins will be jumping through hoops by the time the record’s finished.

Whoopsies to Watch Out For…

Culprit Scenarios

Ever arranged to go out partying with your girlfriends only to wish that you’d never said yes when the day rolls round? We’re not dissing your ladies: what we mean is that occasionally we get stewed up about something that should be enjoyable and relaxing, for whatever reason. For instance, be sure that when you schedule dinner round yours for eight friends, you’re not going to get all Hell’s Kitchen on them. The idea of meeting someone for coffee on a Saturday morning, in between taking your cat to the vet, meeting with your bank manager and driving your brother to the airport might seem like a chance for reprieve now, but will it be so in reality? If there’s a possibility it’s going to throw you, don’t do it to yourself.

Food!

Aside from the obvious, eating regular and balanced meals as a basic rule of thumb – some foods can actually promote anxiety. Caffeine is the humdinger (six cups of coffee a day might make you feel like Wonder Woman, but you’re probably jitterbugging your way through life, honey) as are processed foods and alcohol. These are all cool in moderation, but furthermore, be sure that you’re getting all the nutrients you need for good health. D and B vitamin deficiencies are commonly linked with stress (both symptomatically and causative) so check that you’re not lacking these. According to nutritionist Tara Geise, when the needle starts flickering into the stress zone, munch on tuna, almonds, milk, cottage cheese, asparagus, beef and blueberries. These babies are rich in nutrients like zinc, B and E vits and folic acid, all of which help stabilize mood.

It’s easy to skip or severely delay meals if we’ve got a lot on our, erm, plate but swapping food for cortisol can exacerbate anxiety, if not be the root cause altogether. Also, be sure you drink plenty of water as dehydration can also be causative and symptomatic of stress.

Need a another break to recover?

Packed to the Brim Holidays

Okay, so the expression ‘a change is as good as a rest’ holds water for sure, but how many of us return from our holiday needing a holiday to recover from it? Us humans inherently feel compelled to be productive at all times, even when we’re taking down time. That’s fine, so long as the activity in question doesn’t dial up planet pressure. As far as holidays go, be realistic about what you can achieve and do in the time frame you’re working with, ensuring that at least 50% of that time is spent on R’n’R. The same goes for weekends: the odd jam-packed, busy weekend doesn’t hurt (and is pretty inevitable) but week upon week won’t have the required rejuvenating affect you’re after.

Quit with the Autophobia

Many of us hate being alone. We either think we’re missing out on something or worse, we can’t stand our own company. If the latter is you, you need to work on your self-worth, sister. Many relaxation exercises demand solo time for them to have proper effect: meditating with a friend for instance will probably only end up in fits of giggles – fine if what you meant to do was the laughter exercise! An evening in on your own, or a Sunday sans people is good for you now and then. After all, you’re more likely to get that pile of washing up seen to, that overfull laundry basket emptied, the un-hoovered-for-three-weeks carpet vacuumed and all your bills paid, which themselves will be several less things to let niggle at you.

But most importantly, remember half an hour a day for you. And relax…