The sexual salonista: Sam Roddick

At Coco de Mer’s Salons, you will learn as much about yourself as you will about your sex life. Sam Roddick has reclaimed the 18th Century tradition of intellectual, relaxed ‘grandes salons’ to create a sexy and safe environment that will transform London’s take on erotica.

Sam Roddick approaches sex through philosophy, activism, politics, history and literature: “This is very intellectual shit” she confirms.

Roddick opened Coco de Mer erotic emporium after exploring her own attitude to sex over ten years ago. Whilst writing a correspondence course in Kabbalah, Roddick realised that she stored a lot of anger and frustration over intimacy – even though she was living quite a sexually adventurous life at the time. Roddick abandoned the Kabbalah, and began her own studies into the history and culture of sex instead.

Sex is an expression, not an act

As a speaker, Roddick is like good sex: honest, open, fun, unpredictable and sensitive. Seated on a plush red chair, Roddick is at once a Madame character, dispensing advice and spanking techniques – “I’ll get to blowjobs later” – yet she simultaneously embodies the intellect and activist, reflecting on how sexuality has sculpted western society. Roddick’s duality precipitates into her outfit, as she wears an oversized jumper in a relaxed, informal fashion, so that only her skin tight, tactile leggings give a hint of her sensuality beneath.

Roddick’s message is simple: sex is an expression, not an act. “You are the tool of talent,” Roddick enthuses as she encourages us to see the bedroom as a theatre for the true self, rather than an exercise in stereotypical role playing. Roddick is most emphatic when she makes the distinction between process and goal-orientated sex, as she believes that many of us suffer at the hands of our own expectations around orgasm. Rather than making physical contact about the end product, Roddick asks her Salon guests to enjoy the journey, and especially enjoy the senses of touch, taste and sound in themselves,

Salon Treatment

Coco de Mer’s salons are informal, educational and very classy. These ‘Lessons in Love and Sexual Pleasure’ run from her Draycott Avenue branch in South Kensington, where a range of teachers are willing to share their trade secrets, including Dr Vena Ramphal specialising in Indian erotic traditions, Midori who is an international lecturer in Japanese Rope Bondage, and professional dominatrix Mistress Absolute. Roddick only gives lectures occasionally, however I imagine that each teacher exudes the same warmth and perceptivity as Roddick does.

Despite teaching everyone at the Salon a thing or two, Roddick says she is sceptical of the term ‘sexpert’: “I am against the silence of sex. Ultimately sex is something we all do, so I don’t think anyone should be put on a pedestal as an authority.” The Salons are open to couples or single people, and the teachers encourage guests to openly discuss their thoughts and experiences so that the Salon – like the bedroom – is a level playing field.

Future Pillow Talk

Sam Roddick plans to take on the taboo of menstruation for her next project. Roddick is currently researching histories, stories and creativity around women’s menstruation so that she can create a mini festival that celebrates, rather than ignores, this essential part of female biology.

Roddick is recognised as an inspirational female entrepreneur by many. Seeing her Salon guests skip out into the night, full of excitement and enthusiasm for reclaiming their bedroom – it becomes clear that Roddick’s message really does make a positive impact.

Sam at the Coco de Mer boutique

She describes herself as redefining feminism through sex, as she believes that “we shouldn’t battle gender versus gender, women against men. We all want the same thing, don’t we?” Whether you want the same thing, of if you’re totally bemused by the whole idea, I highly recommend Coco de Mer’s workshops to find answers to questions you didn’t even know you had.

In a Nutshell

Sam Roddick is an inspirational speaker with a real sense of humour. Here is just a selection of my favourite sound bites from the night:

● You don’t need much more in the bedroom than imagination, creativity and enjoyment… But you do need lube!

● Spit just doesn’t cut the biscuit when it comes to hand jobs

● Sex is not an act

● We are in support of the slow sex movement

● You can put it in your fanny, but your dog can’t eat it (talking about dangerous plastics used in cheap sex toys)

Upcoming Coco de Mer workshops include:

March 16^th (Women Only) – Unlocking your Body’s Sexual Power

March 22^nd - Sexual Sex Scenes and Spanking

May 9^th – Tricks to Thrill a Man

May 10^th – Tricks to Thrill a Woman

June 14^th – Please Yourself

For details of all other workshops, see the Coco de Mer website. Workshops start at £69 (of course…)