Apps connect us to social networks 24/7

It pains me to admit it now, but at first, I didn’t see the sense in social networking sites. The MySpace phenomenon passed me by as I was cocooned within my bubble of lectures, obscure novels and cut-priced vodka. By the time my heady student days were drawing to a close, Facebook had arrived on the scene and my classmates were joining in their droves. All except from me – I just didn’t get it. Why would I want to catch up with my friends in the depths of cyber space when I could just pop along to the pub? Eventually, I was dragged, kicking and screaming, into the cyber community by a close friend who feared for the future of my social life and she set up an account on my behalf.

Fast forward four years and things couldn’t be more different. Today, Facebook along with a plethora of other social networking sites like LinkedIn and Twitter are part of my daily life. Along with millions of others around the globe I use them to keep in touch, find forgotten friends, organise nights out, plot every inch of my social calendar, share news (both good and bad), network professionally and generally keep tabs on what my friends and favourite celebs are up to.

Cynics like myself have been proved wrong and websites like Facebook are now among the most frequented in cyber space. They play a huge role in our lives, and even their terminology like ‘unfriend’ and ‘tweet’ have seeped into the global consciousness. For many of us who use them regularly, life without them is almost unthinkable.

So when the editor of RIH threw down the gauntlet of logging off all social networking sites and going cold turkey in the name of research I couldn’t resist the challenge. Here’s how it went…

Day One

As I officially log off at midnight, I wonder how long it will take my cyber come down to kick in. I consider posting farewells on the sites I use the most (Facebook and Twitter since you ask), but announcing my departure feels a little bit too much like cheating. I wonder briefly whether my social life will implode or if, perhaps more depressingly, no one will notice I’m missing. Later in the day I find myself staring longingly at the Facebook log in page. I found my fingers automatically tapping out the web address as soon as I sat at my laptop, and have to force myself to click on the window’s tiny ‘x’ button.

Day Two

It’s Monday and I’m back to work. Knowing that my commute is likely to prove a temptation too far, I sensibly persuade my boyfriend to de-App my iPhone so there’s no easy access to my favourite sites. Usually I would spend the 30 minutes it takes me to journey between my home laptop and office desktop flicking between status updates and tweets to keep me entertained. At work I struggle not to log on, but soon notice that my overall concentration is better. Suddenly because I’m not flitting between different sites it’s a lot easier to focus on what I’m meant to be writing.

Day Three

Just three days in and I’ve committed my first social faux pas thanks to the experiment. A friend chose to announce her engagement on Facebook and thanks to my absence I’ve neglected to congratulate her. Understandably, she’s a bit miffed when we meet up for our planned post-work drinks. She soon forgives me once I explain what I’m doing, but does look at me like I’m a bit mad. As I head home I can’t help but wonder what else I might have missed…

Day Four

After last night’s debacle I wake up with a slight nagging feeling that I might be missing something. What if I have unanswered messages and people are starting to think I’m ignoring them or that I’m being just plain rude? Although I’ve been out and about I feel slightly disconnected and out of sync with my larger social group. My fears come to a head when my sister texts me in a huff because she’s been leaving Facebook messages for two days trying to set up a time to Skype me from her home in Berlin.

A social life: possible sans Facebook?

Day Five

All is going swimmingly, until my editor asks me to find a case study for a feature I’m writing on relationships. Ah, this could be a problem. When it comes to finding people for features I rely heavily on the power of social networking. A couple of shout outs on Facebook and Twitter, and by the end of the day I usually have a volunteer or the name of someone who knows someone. Without it, it takes me hours of trawling through forums and contacting various charities before I finally stumble across someone.

Day Six

I’ve definitely noticed a bit of a lull in my social life. Usually I have event invitations to RSVP to or have planned something with a group of friends. I haven’t even been able to schedule my next book group meeting as it’s all done through Facebook and I don’t have anyone’s emails. It gets worse when I get to a friend’s birthday dinner. I knew we were meant to bring food so I’ve brought a pudding along thinking I can’t go wrong. Turns out she’d sent a list of what everyone was supposed to bring at the start of the week and my job was the starter. She looks distinctly unimpressed as I make my excuses.

Day Seven

I wake up relieved that I’ve only got hours to go. Although I could do without social networking, it’s become a pain having to and makes everything – from work to organising a night out – more difficult, especially when all my friends are all prolific social networkers as well. Intrigued by the effect these sites have on relationships I speak to internet psychologist Graham Jones. “Social networking deepens our relationships and extends them,” he explains. “We go down the pub, meet some friends, talk about the holiday we’ve just had, then go home, continue the conversation on Facebook and send them some pictures of our fun times. We couldn’t do that in the ‘real world’ because we would forget to take the pictures along the next time we saw those friends. So, social networking helps us create deeper and more meaningful connections with people.”

The next morning I log back on. Within half an hour I catch up on what I’ve missed and feel properly connected to the world again. Going cold turkey was interesting, but I won’t be in a hurry to do it again!