From other categories

April 24, 2013

Point of View

I have a soft spot for luxury country house hotels. A couple of years ago I was fortunate enough to stay in the Linen Suite at Devon’s Combe House Hotel, which boasted a beguiling combination of neutral, calming colours, gorgeous original features including a dramatic Victorian drying rack on the  ceiling, and a huge restored round copper bath tub. The next 48 hours were bliss. Despite local draws such as country pubs and rolling hills, there was no need to go anywhere. Combe House’s grand living rooms, roaring fire places, cosy bar, elegant restaurant and pretty gardens were more than enough to entertain. And the chef’s seasonally inspired dishes – think scallops, herrings, beef, venison, wild mushrooms, fennel – made it difficult to summon up the willpower to go elsewhere.

But my penchant for extravagant weekend breaks doesn’t quite tally with the eco-friendly persona I aspire to. Harmonising the two has proved quite a challenge. But thankfully, things are changing. It’s not that country house hotels have downgraded: quite the opposite. The world of luxury travel is now, more than ever embracing its environmental responsibilities, and, by and large, the results are fantastic. What made the Combe House Hotel experience that bit better was discovering that the hotel’s unobtrusive environmental efforts had won it a Green Tourism Business Scheme certification and the ‘Most Excellent Innovation in Sustainable Hospitality’ award from Conde Nast Johansens. Yes, I discovered, you really can have your luxury cake and eat it.

Gone are the days when eco travel was reserved for frumpy hessian-wearing worthy types and revolved around bamboo huts and compost toilets (although it’s worth mentioning that the latter have improved a lot). Sustainable, responsible, eco hotels, tour operators and transport companies are becoming increasingly mainstream. What’s more, attitudes are changing too. In 2011, 58% of Conde Nast Traveller readers said that their hotel choice was directly influenced by the support the hotel gives to a local community and, according to a Trip Advisor survey in 2012, 71% planned to make more eco-friendly travel choices in the next 12 months,compared to 65% the year before.

But let’s be honest; holidays are for indulging, relaxing, letting someone else take care of things or inspiring the mind with new and interesting sights, sounds and experiences. While we all know that we should minimise our impact on the world when travelling, it’s rare that that’s the main consideration when booking a trip. Although the feelgood element of an eco holiday has significant value, what people are increasingly turning to eco travel for is its ability to innovate and provide richer and more novel experiences. Low impact and environmentally sensitive accommodation (aka glamping) gets you closer to nature and allows you to experience a destination without the paraphernalia of large-scale resorts and is often as romantic as it gets.

Canopy & Stars exemplify this sort of experience, and they’re not just about tents.  ’We’re taking 50% more bookings this year than last,’ reveals marketing manager, Nada Matti. ‘It’s just growing and growing. We’re amazed and inspired by all the new places that keep popping up and I think this is what’s driving things forward. People are coming up with quirkier, more creative types of spaces and that’s what people are looking for. We’re on the constant search for more unusual places and have recently added a boat with a thatched roof, as well as a more ‘normal’ converted fishing boat, to go with our Iron Age roundhouse, wheat silo, horse-truck and army fire truck conversions… People are looking for an experience that’s completely immersive. So the space, the setting, the food, everything needs to be special.’

And Canopy and Stars aren’t alone. Nestled in the mountains above Lake Geneva is White Pod, one of the world’s first luxe eco resorts, which offers white dome tents, complete with Scandinavian furnishings, wood burners and organic luxury bedding. Similar are tree house suites, the accommodation of choice for the coolest glampers. Head to Chewton Glen’s enormous treehouse suite for the ultimate luxury tree-top experience, including your own private hot tub, huge terrace and a breakfast hamper delivery every morning.

Along with the chance to sleep in an igloo or a wigwam, an eco resort or travel company is much more likely to take part in efforts to conserve destinations, whether Marrakech’s crumbling old Medina or Kenya’s Masai Mara. ‘Isla Palenque was an uninhabited island, when we arrived,’ remembers Ben Loomis, founder of the 400-acre Isla Palenque eco resort off the coast of Panama. ‘This is what we’ve worked to preserve for guests and for future generations by maintaining the island’s ecosystems in their wild, undisturbed state’.

Bespoke travel and honeymoon specialists Sally & Alice, have also noticed a growing trend for high-end properties that focus on conservation. ‘We work with lodges and camps who support their local community and protect their wildlife and natural surroundings,’ says Sally. ‘People often ask us why safari is so expensive. Well, in order for these wildlife areas to be protected, revenue has to come from park and conservation fees and a percentage of profits from accommodation income. People are increasingly aware, and pleased, that some of this cost goes towards anti-poaching, protecting natural habitats and educating locals to do the same.’

If a resort or trip has eco and responsible credentials, the chances are it will be more interesting and authentic – usually without sacrificing an ounce of comfort or style. These days, it’s the eco holidays that have the strongest brag potential: natural products result in lovelier interiors, locally sourced, organic foods are always tastier and being at one with a beautiful natural environment is one of the best detoxifiers out there. But don’t take my word for it, get out there and experience it for yourself.

April 24, 2013

Lucky Burdens

As everyone I’ve spoken to since last May knows (I’m just a little excited), the Beloved and I are currently planning our wedding. He got down on one knee (yep, literally) just under a year ago and we’ve been plotting and booking and researching ever since. Now, I’ve always loved organising and arranging, so you can just imagine the spree I’ve been on since we got engaged. There’s a joint wedding gmail account with an email address for all things nuptial and several (you really thought I’d limit myself to one?) spreadsheets for budget, venues, guest list… It’s planner’s paradise.

The best laid plans

I have to say that my occasionally annoying urge to structure, label and list is really coming in handy right now, and the Beloved has been, to a lesser extent, bitten by the bug too. He’s a maths and computer whizz so my simple spreadsheets now have formulae to calculate the numbers of guests sure to come, the number of children likely to be there, marquee price comparisons…

wedding planning

The thing with a wedding is that there really is a lot to think about, a lot to do and – crucially – most tasks depend on other tasks. For example, we need to book a date at the town hall for the civil wedding, which is obligatory in France. Before we can do that, I need to obtain a certified translation of my birth certificate, but before I can get it translated, I need to get a special version dated within the last six months… So, you see, you can’t just attack your to-do list (which is often my approach – a blind blitz attack); you have to do things in the right order. You can’t book a DJ until you have a date, but can’t set a date until you find the venue, and know it’s available. My college friend Rachel (for whose wedding I received an invitation the very day the Beloved and I first met) encapsulated the beauty and ephemeral nature of wedding planning when she wrote to me: “You have to acquire very specific knowledge very quickly, learning a huge of amount of stuff that you’ll never use again”.

A very specific skill set

Rachel was right. I now have a working knowledge of venue contracts, and I know all the French words for the various shades of a colour I once just referred to as “white”. But, in the midst of tasting desserts and trying on dresses and addressing envelopes, the biggest lesson I am currently learning is one of perspective. When the Beloved proposed, I was over the moon, simply thrilled to know we were to be joined forever in matrimony and that we’d be making our commitment public and sharing the day with all our friends and family. But as The Day draws near and decisions have to be made and friends and family start offering helpful tips and opinions about how things really should be done, the pressure builds.

Online forums are full of women whipping each other into a frenzy about the traditional meaning of different flowers, the take-his-name/keep-your-own debate, and the “right” number of bridesmaids. Films like Bridesmaids with their incredibly opulent weddings make your own somewhat humbler proceedings feel shabby by comparison, and having seen the once hilarious, but now that I’m engaged, frankly petrifying film The Hangover, I break out in a cold sweat whenever the words ‘stag night’ are uttered in my presence.

Enjoy the process

With all that going on (plus, you know, little things like holding down a full-time job, writing columns, washing, shopping, hauling myself to the gym…) it’s easy to lose sight of the endgame. Which is – we’re getting married. Never a weekend free from some kind of wedding errand? Deal with it – you’ve met the love of your life! Hand aching from addressing envelopes? For heaven’s sake – you’re lucky to have so many loved ones with whom to share the day. And as for arguing with the Beloved over buttonholes and seating arrangements – well, I’d rather avoid the irony of having cross words over how/when/where/with whom we are to declare our undying love.

wedding

I only intend to get married once in my life, so I am determined to enjoy the process as much as the day itself. I refuse to squabble for a year while we plan what is supposed to be the happiest day of our lives. And a wedding is just one example of how keeping sight of the endgame and maintaining a sense of perspective prevent you from undermining the ultimate joy of what you’re doing. Quarrelling over holiday plans falls into the same category for me, as does getting uptight about taking the wrong route out of the city for a weekend away. The drive is part of the trip – enjoy the process, put it in perspective, and remember to buy a more up-to-date map when you get back.

Lucky you

Whenever I feel overwhelmed by all the stuff I have to juggle in life, I remember the words of my wise friend Pam. Once, as I complained about how I was behind in my novel for book club, didn’t have an evening without a commitment for the next two weeks, had only half-written my latest column, and couldn’t even find time to get to the bank to pay in a cheque, she looked me in the eye and said: “Wow, it must be fun to be in a book club! And you’ve loads of social nights out planned? Nice! You’re already half-way done on your column? And someone gave you some money that you need to put in the bank? What a lot of lucky burdens to carry.” Pam’s point, simply stated, has proved very hard to forget. Luckily.

April 8, 2013

The Careers Coach

Humans are natural procrastinators. We are fabulous at it. We like to think we can embrace change but actually, there’s nothing we like better than to stick with what we know – even if it means sacrificing our own happiness. As a result, many of us stay in jobs that we should have left a long time ago, uncomfortably aware that other opportunities are possibly passing us by but feeling powerless to do anything about it. If you’re wanting to break the cycle and gauge whether you’ve been sticking it out a little too long, here are some questions to ask yourself…

Am I inspired?

Every job has its core functions and one of the key ones of your management team is to inspire those around them. Are you in an environment where you feel challenged, inspired and are continuously learning from those steering the ship? If that sense of inspiration isn’t there and you’re experiencing an increasing sense of repetition, then it’s time to consider whether your current role is maybe past its sell-by-date.

work

Am I having fun?

Many of us tolerate a mediocre job experience because we’ve been taught from an early age that there is a compromise to be made for receiving a regular salary every month. Every job has its highs and lows but if you’re feeling more lows than anything else, don’t just accept it. If you’re not having fun for the majority of the time you’re at work, something needs addressing.

What am I bringing to the party?

What you put in is what you get out. As much as the organisation you work for has a responsibility to be a place of inspiration, you also need to take responsibility for what you are offering. Are you a force for good, bringing enthusiasm and a can-do attitude to the office every day? Have you done all you can to demonstrate everything you have to offer through your attitude, behaviour and thinking? If your answer is yes but you’re still feeling a sense of dissatisfaction then it may be time to make some changes.

Am I supported?

We thrive in environments where we feel appreciated and where there is some flexibility for us to grow as individuals, whilst contributing to the common goal of the collective. Do the values of the tribe you currently belong to, fit with yours? If you’re not with like-minded people, think about changing tribes.a work in progress

Why am I still here?

If you’re dithering about changing jobs and unsure of what action to take, ask yourself what’s currently stopping you. Fear about how you’ll perform in a new company, attachment to the people you work with, convenient location, good salary are all common reasons for staying put. However, none of them are good enough justifications for staying in a job if it’s making you unhappy. The price you ultimately pay in terms of self-esteem and long term well being, is too high. It might be a familiar platitude but life is too short to soldier on. Move on and give yourself the life you deserve.

March 27, 2013

Point of View

Body anxiety is something that even the most seemingly confident of people can fall victim to. In fact, a recent study carried about by CAR (the Centre for Appearance Research) revealed that 90% of British adult women suffer from body anxiety. It was also reported that body anxiety is rapidly on the rise among men too, with one in four men saying that it stops them going to the gym in fear of what people think. Whilst it’s completely natural to look at our flaws, compare ourselves to others and want to change something about our body and appearance, the fact that we accept that this as normal or inevitable is fairly alarming.body anxiety

And what is even more worrying is that body anxiety is affecting children as young as seven. The younger generation is constantly exposed to the emphasis that society and the media places on appearance so it’s no surprise that children are becoming increasingly aware of and dissatisfied with how they look. The media is full of how ‘fantastic or awful so and so looked’ at the latest premiere, how much weight they have lost or gained, or what diet/fitness regime they’re following. Not to mention all of the makeover TV shows delivering the message than self-confidence only comes from looking good. It’s relentless, and whilst as adults can consciously choose how we absorb and process this information, for children that becomes all that they know. Instead of striving to be like someone because of their qualities, talents or achievements, ‘role models’ are now labelled as such because of how they look.

Then there’s the highly sensitive debate surrounding how images of size zero models and celebrities contribute to body anxiety. Images such as these are also blamed for triggering eating disorders, which is another discussion entirely and can’t be automatically grouped with body anxiety. However, our attitude towards food has greatly swayed from the simple fact that food is fuel. So many women seem to be on some sort of diet, but the emphasis is far more about being selective about what we eat in order to look a certain way as opposed to using food for its most simple purpose – to enable our body to function.

On a similar topic to the size zero debate, airbrushed or Photoshopped images certainly don’t do anything to help the way we have become obsessed with the quest for aesthetic perfection. But once again, it is children who are far more susceptible. As adults, we know it’s advertising – images in magazines are supposed to look polished and pretty. Children and even teens don’t have that knowledge because they’ve grown up with it and are exposed to it every day. And this can lead to younger people feeling that their so-called ‘imperfect’ bodies are not ok.

body image

We live in a time where we’re told we can be anything we want to be. Anything is possible – the career, the big bank account, the status, the perfect body. Anxiety in general is at an all-time high because there is so much pressure to achieve. And the suggestion that a perfect appearance can be used as a tool to get what we want is ever present. Cosmetic surgery is readily available and there’s always a new fitness craze to get the body we’ve always dreamed of. Perhaps we need to take a step back from this superficial attitude? The consequences of body anxiety can be devastating and surely the media needs to take more responsibility in putting out a different message by implementing stricter guidelines. But more importantly, we have to take responsibility closer to home – as parents, teachers and carers and we need to be more aware and sensitive to the causes and serious consequences of body anxiety.

March 13, 2013

Point of View

It might be when she talks about sauntering up to her Google bosses and demanding a better parking space that Sheryl Sandberg’s advice to women starts to rankle. Or perhaps it’s the anecdote about finding nits in her children’s scalp en route to a business meeting – while on eBay’s private jet – that makes your blood boil, just a little. Or the way that each interview she’s done has been full of diversions – about being a geek, breaking down at work, or being terrible at walking in high heels – that are clearly designed to prove how much of an everywoman she is but instead come across as characteristics of the modern feminist icon that her publicist has selected straight from central casting. Here she is: Silicon Valley superwoman, Facebook’s second-most recognisable face, well-coiffed with the perfect family to boot, plus  a litany of career successes under her belt – and all before her 45th birthday. And she’s telling all the other women out there that it’s easy to be just like her; they’ve merely got to be more assertive.

Sandberg discussing her book Lean In…

To be fair to Sandberg, that’s a slightly narrow interpretation of her new book Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead, which is being marketed as something of a manifesto for the 20th century career woman. In the extracts and interviews with her I’ve read so far (of which there have been several – her marketing team needs a rise), her advice follows a familiar thread. Women, she explains, need to be less afraid of success and learn to appreciate achievement as the other half do.

Shesays: “Women internalise the negative messages we get throughout our lives-the messages that say it’s wrong to be outspoken, aggressive, more powerful than men-and pull back when we should lean in.” Sandberg isn’t wrong, and her advice is far more tolerable and constructive than that of women who have broken through the glass ceiling and can’t see why everyone else is making such a fuss about it. She’s absolutely spot on when she talks about the phenomenon of women feeling like “frauds” when they are successful, rather than simply soaking up praise for a job well done. Her suggestion that women hold themselves back rings true; in my own experience, it’s noticeable how male writers are usually willing to pitch opinion pieces out of the blue, while female writers seem surprised that they might be able to float an idea. They wait to be asked, a trend that Sandberg acknowledges, in a way that men simply don’t.

Of the women I know – intelligent, capable and qualified twenty-somethings with bright careers ahead – many speak of the very concerns Sandberg raises. They confess to feeling inadequate, as if they were imposters in their roles, to believing that they need to better than the best just to keep up with their (mostly male) colleagues. Most assume that the myth of “having it all,” sold to us during our school years, is just that, that something, somewhere, will have to give.

The problem isn’t that her advice is unwelcome, unreasonable, or even that she’s stating the obvious. It’s that, ultimately, it’s meaningless. Sandberg is correct that pregnant women should get better parking spaces; that we should be demanding equal pay, and the appreciation men in the workplace take as their birthright. But it’s hardly a revelation – we’ve known for years that we should be heeding these feminist rallying cries. The problem is that we don’t. We haven’t yet, and it’s unlikely enough of us will.

This week Sandberg – former chief of staff to a US treasury secretary – told The Times: “really, honestly, I’m not going into politics.” Perhaps she’s just fooling us, or even herself. Let’s hope so. For if more women like Sandberg – the ones that have “leaned in to overcome their fears and sit at the table – were in politics, maybe some of what she is urging would take effect. If Sandberg could secure that parking space with minimal heartache, just imagine what she could do as a politician if she took on businesses over maternity rights or flexible working. Surely in the fight for more affordable childcare, someone like Sandberg should be leading the charge?

Ultimately, as she admits “the blunt truth is that men still run the world”. No amount of well-meaning advice is going to change the fact that this is, for many, a reality. Books and words advocating equality are great. But they would be far more valuable if she turned them into action.

Sandberg giving a talk on female leaders for TED

March 12, 2013

My Classic Film

Lately there’s been vast attention paid to the life and work of the legendary British director, Alfred Hitchcock. The prestigious Sight and Sound magazine recently voted his 1958 classic Vertigo the greatest movie of all time. And then there are the two Hitchcock biopics that have recently been released; The Girl, which explores the filmmaker’s dubious infatuation with one of his leading ladies, and Hitchcock, which concentrates on the making of Psycho from behind the scenes. Due to the controversy it created at the time, it’s hardly surprising that Psycho remains one of Hitchcock’s most intriguing films. Its violence, nudity and sexual content caused an uproar in the sixties – which was at that point yet to swing. However, it’s also one of his most celebrated works and a personal favourite for many including myself.

The original 1960 trailer for Psycho

The film centres on Lila Crane, a young woman who steals $40,000 from her employer’s client in order to run away and start a new life with her secret lover. However, before this can happen she becomes embroiled in the lonely, twisted world of motel proprietor Norman Bates. One thing that makes the film particularly special is the strength of its main characters, and the excellent performances of the actors playing them. Vera Miles‘ Lila Crane is charming and promiscuous, yet subtly vulnerable. Miles balances these characteristics so expertly that many consider her performance to be the perfect example of a ‘Hitchcock blonde’. Bates (played by Anthony Perkins) is a haunting villain and a deeply complex character; a far cry from the pantomime ‘baddies’ of many of the era’s Hollywood productions. He has the ability to appear kind-natured and accommodating, but as the film progresses he reveals a dark and disturbed inner self.

Despite the originality of the characters, Hitchcock still effortlessly weaves the conventions of classic horror into the film. The central location is – of course – a ‘house on a haunted hill’, a menacing Gothic structure beneath crashing thunder and flashes of lightning. And it’s within this bleak, desolate location that the brutal, shocking events begin to unfold. Expect knife attacks, interrogations and excruciating moments of suspense. We’re never left in any doubt as to the genre of this chilling classic, yet it has a sense of sophistication that is often lacking in your average zombie flick or Hammer horror movie.

Perhaps the most memorable aspect of the film is Norman Bates’ eerie and complex relationship with his mother. We get the feeling that she has been an oppressive figure throughout his life, leaving him feeling bitter, isolated – and perhaps capable of murder. However, the serial killer always appears to form a shadow more befitting of the old lady herself; in short, we are kept guessing as to the true identity of the film’s murderer. In the end there is no predictable explanation either, with an outcome that still proves as shocking and unique in the modern day as it would have done upon its release.

Psycho’s famous shower scene…

March 6, 2013

Fatigue Fighting

Maybe it’s because of the winter weather, maybe it’s the general economic slump, maybe it’s an age thing, but I have noticed a tedious new phenomenon in discussions among colleagues and friends. I call it Fatigue Fighting. Sample dialogue:
Me: Morning James, how are you? Have a good weekend?
Sébastien: Yeah, great. I did nothing but sleep. Took a long nap Saturday afternoon.
Me: What a luxury!
Sébastien: Yeah, I’m just so tired! How are you?

nap
OK, not too bad – James’ weekend was quiet and he’s revelling in that. Good for him. But look what happens when Marie joins us at the water cooler:
Me: Hey, Marie – how are you?
Marie: Oh, exhausted! I had about six hours sleep last night. And I’ve got meetings all day.
Sébastien: God, I know. I was still awake at 4am. I must have slept all of five hours.
Marie: And the problem is the night before that I was up at 4am for an early flight, so that makes two nights where I’ve had no sleep. I’m a zombie today!
Sébastien: Tell me about it. I’m already on my fourth coffee and it’s only 11am! It’s going to be a long day.

The city that doesn’t sleep?

Blah, blah, blah, winge, whine, complain. Is it a Paris thing, or are city dwellers like this the world over? I say city-dwellers because it does feel like metropolis madness. It goes hand in hand with the complaint that in the big bad city life moves too fast, people walk too quickly, we don’t know our neighbours, we’re always running around… All of which are ills we can combat daily and can choose to partake in – or not. I happen to take my time whenever possible, I don’t make back-to-back appointments with friends or co-workers, and the Beloved and I have had drinks with our neighbours on several occasions. Life in a city can be whatever you want it to be – that’s one of the biggest advantages of living in a sprawling urban centre.

Bedtime Blues

Now, to get back to the tiredness tantrums. Let’s not underestimate the importance of sleep. Whatever you may need – be it eight or three hours a night – it really is a need, and one that you should definitely fulfill for yourself. If you’re suffering from long-term sleep issues, you should see a doctor. And if your lifestyle is such that you regularly get too little sleep, need to stay in bed until 2pm every Saturday and Sunday, and feel perpetually one degree under, you absolutely need to make some major changes to your routine! The easiest way to get more sleep is simply to sleep more. Excluding anyone who has children from what I’m about to write, the biggest obstacle to most people feeling less tired is just to go to bed a little earlier.

Fighting Fatigue

Without having to make fundamental changes to your lifestyle, there are a few adjustments you can make to feel a general energy boost. What about taking a short walk in the fresh air after lunch? Instead of phoning through to a colleague with a question, get up from your desk and take a walk over there. Make sure you take regular breaks from the computer – look out the window, fill your water glass, stand up and stretch your arms. And what about your diet? What you put into your body is as important for tiredness levels as how much you rest it. Are you really getting your five daily portions? Could you add a mid-morning banana or orange? And how much water do you actually manage? Filling a litre bottle each morning and making sure you get through it by home time is a good way to stay on track. Coffee is sometimes a quick fix, but causes you to feel even worse when the caffeine wears off. Since I gave it up completely, my energy levels have gone through the roof!

coffee

You Feel Your Focus

While you’re making some adjustments that in time will boost your energy and help you feel less lethargic, you can also implement the biggest and most immediate change. You can stop thinking, talking and worrying about how tired you are. Let’s look at my sample dialogue. Did it help James and Marie to share their tales of insomnia and much-needed naps? Did they feel any better afterwards? Probably not. In fact, chances are they just made themselves even more aware of how much they needed sleep and more convinced of how hard getting through the day was going to be. What if that conversation had gone more like this?

Marie: Morning James, how are you? Have a good weekend?
Sébastien: Yeah, great. Very relaxing – really indulgent and luxurious. How are you?
Marie: Super, thanks. Pretty busy, and I spent lots of time with the kids. Getting back to work is going to be restful!
Sébastien: Wasn’t it Louis’ birthday party on Saturday? How did that go?

Nothing has changed for either of these tired people but their focus. But that’s the first thing that needs to change for you to feel just a bit more energetic. It’s simple: if you focus on fatigue, you’ll feel the bone-crushing tiredness and rush to the coffee machine. But if you look elsewhere, you might just find you forget that you didn’t get your full eight hours and find that, before you know it, you’re whizzing through the day, talking about more interesting things with colleagues and friends, and – well, what do you know? – it’s bedtime already.

February 28, 2013

The Careers Coach

Few people list ‘going to interviews’ as being one of their favourite things to do. But if you want that dream job, it’s often something that you can’t avoid. So, how can we give ourselves the best chance of getting it right and have that job offer on the table before the final handshake?

It’s not an interview, it’s a conversation

Even the thought of doing an interview can bring on feelings of nervousness and apprehension, especially if you really want the job. As an interviewee it is important to remember that this is a two-way conversation. Whilst you’re being given the opportunity to demonstrate your relevant skills, you’re also assessing whether this is something that’s right for you. Thinking of it as a conversation – rather than solely as an assessment of you as an individual – will give you a sense of empowerment and confidence.a work in progress interviews

Do your prep

It might seem an obvious one, but so many people walk in to an interview not having done enough research. An interview is a bit like a date with a needy, prospective beau. Employers want to know that you’re interested in them and why, so do your prep. Why make yourself more vulnerable than you need to? Know the company, the industry and if relevant, have examples of work in your particular field that you like or are interested in. That way, if you’re asked any wider questions about why you’re passionate about the job, you’ll have a rounded answer that has substance to it.

Tell them what they want to hear

Assuming that you like the sound of the role and think it would serve you well, then a big part of the process is to convince the interviewer that you’re the person for the job. You can do this passively and wait to be given your marks out of ten, or you can take control and draw the interviewer’s attention to why you have what they need. If you have a job description, go through it in detail, highlighting the requirements and noting your relevant experience. At the end of the process, collate all that experience into two or three case studies that allow you to easily recall specific scenarios when asked. Another useful trick is to familiarise yourself with the language used in the job description and repeat it as part of your answers. Hearing their own words spoken back to them has a subconscious effect on the interviewer, evoking a feeling of ‘This person is one of us and has what we need.’.

Listen, breathe and smile

Remember, back in the day when you had to take exams and your teachers often repeated, ‘Take your time and read the question before you start writing your answer.’ ? Well, interviews are no different. If we’re feeling a little nervous, it’s easy to rush things. So, firstly, listen carefully to what you’re being asked. Then, breathe and give yourself some time before you jump in with an answer. That few seconds can make all the difference between giving a garbled, not entirely relevant response and one that is fluid, calm and considered. Lastly, don’t forget to smile! Your enthusiasm and positive attitude will be infectious and help push you up to the top of the consideration list.jobs

Drive the interview

The most pleasurable of interviews for both parties is where the conversation flows. You can influence this by using your experience to tell a story and guide the interviewer through the conversation. You already feel confident in your skills and abilities (yes, you do!) and one of your key roles in the interview is to make your interviewer feel comfortable. By using your body language and listening skills, you can quickly relax and reassure them that this is going to be a positive experience. Remember, every interviewer wants you to be ‘the one’. You just need to show them the way.

February 4, 2013

Point of View

Ready to take the plunge and move in together?

Cohabitation: a catalyst for break-ups?

Some approach with caution, while others welcome it as an opportunity to take the plunge. For many people, it’s not an option at all. In any case, living with a romantic partner arguably represents commitment, cosy nights in, slow-burning tension, petty arguments and everything in between.

Where two people find themselves in a loving, stable relationship, there seems to be a sort of reverence attached to cohabitation. Perhaps not a stigma, but a ‘big thing’ across a range of cultures; the rite of passage that often acts as a prologue to proposals, marriage and starting a family.

I have a roadblock of sorts in articulating my thoughts on this topic; something called my other half. My life’s love, my inspiration, occasional bane of existence – and cohabitant. He did inform me in no uncertain terms that he can’t be the subject of this piece due to being a “self-confessed oddball”, but the particulars do make a valid point. It’s not cohabitation that drives the trials and tribulations of our day-to-day. My quirky valentine’s fastidiousness and amusingly curious contrasts would still be there, regardless of who shared his quarters.

After almost six years together (with a large body of water between us for most of the last one), I don’t believe that sharing a home becomes a catalyst for break-ups or deepened intimacy. The strengthening and weakening of bonds hinges on whether you can create space for each other. In other words, it’s the time spent independently that makes cohabiting so special.

Ironically, while I wouldn’t deem living together a moment of truth for romantic relationships, I do hold fast to its role in undoing housemateship (and friendship). In the seven months my partner and I spent in opposite hemispheres, many a commiseration was shared with friends over cohabitants. “The next time I live with someone, it won’t be with another couple. It’ll just be Simon and I because at least I can shout at him when he keeps using the good sponge on the laundry sink!” Or “I finished work at 11 last night, but I saw that my housemate’s light was on, so I circled the block until she went to bed.”

Here in my partner’s Sweden, we’re termed, not surprisingly, ‘cohabitants’. It feels much simpler than the ‘de facto’ reference used in my homeland down under. Despite the richness of sharing space with people I might not otherwise have met, I’m glad to have become flatmates with my meticulous viking once more. If we ever parted ways, it wouldn’t be because we lived together. It would be because we lived and let die something far bigger.

Hearing someone special say they quite literally can’t live without you may be daunting, but why not? Just ensure that communication is the spare key, and both of you know where it is.

February 1, 2013

Point of View

A scrum of photographers capture street style...

Photographers capturing street style…

Once upon a time, street style photography captured fashion at its finest: self expression rendered in a mix of high street and designer, vintage and customised clothes. For a few seconds as you scrolled Facehunter or flicked through a magazine, you had a fleeting insight into a stranger’s personality and the image that they wanted to project to the world.

Today, however, marketing has found its way into the arena of sartorial individuality. Fashion bloggers too numerous to name (and I won’t shame them here) have fallen prey to the ‘sponsored post’ – meaning that they’re paid by brands to feature their products. Some brands even tell bloggers what to write, and even worse – there are a few bloggers that don’t explain to their readers that they’ve been paid to create a post. And those spontaneous street style photographs? Many are now a bland tick list of designer pieces that have been strategically gifted to bloggers to ensure brand exposure. You can’t buy style. Or can you?

Not all bloggers fit into the fashion cookie cutter though. There are still blogs out there that inspire and delight readers with their unique insights and opinions on clothes and how to put them together. Here are some of my personal favourites…

Sydney-based Hannah-Rose Yee of Capture the Castle writes about clothes with a poetic beauty and a sense of wonder that make you hope that one day she will write a novel. A mix of travel photography, cinematic style analysis and extracts from fiction, with a healthy dose of food porn thrown in for good measure; hers is not a daily #ootd outlet. Hannah-Rose delves into the beauty of simple dressing and reveals the infallible feeling that follows the discovery of the perfect Breton top.

Dylana Suarez of Colour Me Nana is a So-Cal girl living in Philadelphia, and she has kept her surf country roots close to her heart. Just as likely to quote Fleetwood Mac lyrics as she is to wear denim cut-offs in the middle of winter, Dylana’s outfit posts perfectly capture her free spirited hippie style. Also worth a visit is her model sister Natalie’s blog Natalie Off Duty.

Ellie Loughran of Pretty Much Penniless gives an honest account of her experiences of living in London without being able to afford a new designer handbag each year (or lifetime). Her creative ways of looking continually elegant and also her homemade preparations for her upcoming wedding are crammed with inspiration for anyone looking to update their look on a (very) small budget.

I am still a firm believer in the fashion blog: its universal accessibility allows people who might otherwise have slipped under the fashion radar to have a platform to share their style. While some may have been corrupted by advertising and sponsorship, others take blog ethics seriously and go on to triumph over big business and shine through their originality.

Suarez of Color Me Nana; one of the many dreamy photographs of Paris from Capture The Castle; a typically stylish outfit post from Pretty Much Penniless

Color Me Nana’s Dylana Suarez; a dreamy Paris photographs from Capture The Castle; a stylish outfit post on Pretty Much Penniless

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